Inspired By Illness

You haven’t lived until you have had a “Sanford and Son” moment; “Grandpa I’m coming to join you.” and I’ve had several dealing with sarcoidosis for over 24 years. Fasting lesson learned; carbonation can kill when you have GERD damage and have been abstaining from food for over 24 hours. I have practiced intermittent fasting for about two years and usually avoid carbonation, so this was a fail and valuable lesson. #Eat2Live not #Live2Eat
I suppose it could have been the works of a sarcoidosis demon, however, I have obsessed about God and the divine human creation enough to recognize that air builds up from stomach acid and will escape into the esophagus when your stomach flap is broken and does not shut (also known as gerd). If it builds up enough it will block breathing airways by forming a barrier of gases, until it is released. I was lying awake in my bed and all of a sudden I started gasping trying to take in air with no success. Internal suffocation released……. and ER visit avoided. First thing I did was grab the bottle of peppermint oil on my night stand and inhaled both nostrils; I then went to the kitchen and took a sip of ice tea from my refrigerator and VOILA…. a cascade of gas escapes like a waterfall.
I hate to seem preachy but i have been conditioned to be a problem solver and purpose driven. If everyone invested in understanding God and our physical bodies, the natural result would naturally be reduced health care costs. It can be irritating to watch so many people take their health for granted and live as if we are entitled to health; there would be no illness if that were the case. Medicine is NOT one size fits all and neither are our bodies. When you realize how much you are truly Loved by Christ your desire becomes to protect your divine assets, so you are able to perform at your best. Despite how hard I try, I can’t help but feel like such a failure sometimes because of my afflictions. Yet because of them I experience even more Love from my Savior. Sarcoidosis brings out the best in me and it is Christ. Thank you Lord for all the overtime work!
Most conventional medicine is quackery and goes against the divine design. Ignorance is not bliss, it can destroy. There is a reason Natural/Holistic practitioners are referred to as Functional Medicine Doctors because the alternate is dysfunction. My intent is not to bash regular physicians because I don’t believe it is intentional; just deception that runs very deep in the broken medical culture. I also believe that modern medicine has become a false idol.
Special thanks to my Heavenly Father, Dad who referred me to Robert Scott Bell and the ripple affect beyond to a plethora of holistic Dr.s actually giving tools to fix problems and heal the way God intended and designed us all. Mock away because I am a living and breathing sacrifice and miracle. So I boast in my weakness! What doesn’t kill you definitely makes you wiser and stronger through Christ.


Adam Probably Finds My Heart

As I recall, it was around the late part of 2010 when Adam entered the political spotlight. I very quickly developed a crush on him, regardless of ever meeting him; just something about him? However, just as quickly his engagement to get married was announced, so I naturally dismissed any feelings that I might have encountered. Fast forward 7 years later on Oct. 19, 2017 I attended a human trafficking forum that Adam was involved in. Exposing evil has always been on my radar. I couldn’t help but notice he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring and was totally caught off guard. Unknowingly I had managed to position myself in the auditorium directly in front of where Adam would be seated. At the conclusion of the event Adam took time to greet and speak with some people in attendance. Not being brave enough or knowing what I would even say I continued to sit in my seat for a little while and observe; being a people watcher. He was probably about 2 feet away in a brief conversation with someone. I could swear I felt his eyes meet mine and that he saw me, I mean really saw me; he was wearing a smile that I had hoped was for me. My hyperactive nervous system (empath) seemed to kick in and I felt this overwhelming chemistry between us; of course my emotions were strong enough for the both of us I suppose? LOL
Anyway, afterwards I was so intrigued I had to do some investigating to find out what his situation was. After reading about his story and learning his engagement ended; it touched me very deeply. I could strongly relate because of the similarities of my own decision to end my engagement to my best friend who was serving in the Air Force. My emotional connection continued to deepen as I discovered more. I had developed such a respect for him. In my search to explore Adam, I even ended up following his mother on facebook. I have had the distinct privilege of experiencing vicariously such a special family, which feels like “home” for me.
Also as I constantly try and find understanding, I tend to search deeply for signs or signals. I personally have noticed significance in numbers and feel that God is a calculated and well planned creator; there are patterns to see in life if you are willing to look. For example; I am a capricorn and my birthday is 12/30/1972 which broken down ~ 1+2 +3+0 +1+9+7+2 = 25 and 2+5= 7
Adam’s birthday 2/27/1978 ~ 2+ 2+7 + 1+9+7+8 = 36 and 3+6 =9
Finally the date which all my emotions came full throttle was 10/19/2017 ~
1+ 1+9 + 2+1+7 = 21 2+1= 3
I have always concluded that 7 and 3 were divine numbers in my experience?
It has felt quite redeeming to “feel” again after 22 years of emotional stagnancy. I certainly hadn’t lost all hope, just interest in any romantic potential. I currently feel as if all my emotional waiting has been so worth it. It seems more intense than I had imagined, which scares me terribly. I had just gotten to a point in my life where I felt as though I was really good at being single; my heart takes over and interrupts my groove. It has been a struggle between patience and resistance. It is typical of how God works because he wants us to continue to grow and flourish. Everything would make sense that the past 2 years was preparation for something this big? I truly had become quite content with what some might consider mediocrity maybe? As I continuously reflect and analyze the events of the past 2 years it seems obvious God rescued me from a job that no longer was satisfying and went against everything that I had come to believe. It is my natural tendency to focus on what I have and appreciate it. God needed to allow my life to become so uncomfortable, to the point I could not resist any longer. So I can’t help but feel like He has been preparing me for this moment to completely focus on myself; mind, body,spirit and take the next step? So I guess my New Years resolution might end up needing me to get uncomfortable? I just wish God would provide me specific details because I can be good at ruining things!;) I’m also feeling a significance of Valentines Day approaching too; as it was the date in 1995 when I decided to move forward in my singleness. Maybe it should be the date to let go of that singleness? One major problem though; singleness only takes 1 and getting out of singleness requires 2 people being involved, so all I can offer is a step. This is why I hate even thinking about not being single because it requires someone who genuinely feels the same and that would take a miracle! OMG, I’m in tears just thinking about it and I think I’ve just created a new condition called P.T.E.S. (Post Traumatic Emotional Syndrome). I hate risk and God knows this, so I should just expect a phone call; even though he doesn’t know my name or phone number? Of course just because he isn’t married doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t in a relationship either. Why must I have this crazy supernatural ability and pure heart that I question all the time? Why must I over think everything?
Anyway I’m getting way ahead of myself and really would just appreciate the opportunity to really get to know Adam; I just don’t want to scare him. So I will continue to “Be Still” as it is what I know best.

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19 NLT

Political Idolatry

I will admit after all the nastiness that I witnessed from Donald Trump during the Presidential campaign, against the man that God had motivated me to support; I was not a fan. However, I am so thankful that I trust Christ and He is in control when I have been deceived by the liberal media and my own deceptive eyes. It reminds me of the scripture:
2 Corinthians 5:7 “We live by believing and not by seeing.”
Glasses are the perfect symbol that our eyes have limitations; too many people trust and focus on them. Some of the most insightful people have been blind and it is because Faith is the only option in their world. So I am so grateful when life turns out differently than I expected! God knows me so much better than I even know myself.
Politics sure does bring out the true colors and lack of faith in peoples behavior. Everybody hates politics and it has become taboo to post or talk about it on social media; in return people don’t have a clue about what is actually going on in the government, which should be for the people and by the people. Government is involved in so many areas of our existence and yet the majority bury their heads in the sand. The reality of ignorance and hate of politics has been in the spotlight and it isn’t coming from Trump or the Conservatives. Liberal Democrats suddenly have amnesia and are fighting him over the same policies his predecessor’s had. I have never witnessed such vitriol from the left and the extreme of right and wrong and good vs. evil is playing out as the Bible has indicated. The above image could replace God for Conservative behaviors and Satan for Liberal behaviors and would be accurate. Actions speak volumes when you aren’t spiritually deaf.
Of course there will be those that claim you cannot judge all democrats or conservatives by their label categories but I disagree? I mean can you judge all KKK members by their ideology? Who would continue to support and be associated with an organization that did not represent their values? I simply can’t; my soul and character is a priority and so is my conscience. The Bible references scripture to “guard our heart.” The proof is in the results! I can’t help but see throughout life 2 distinctive ideologies in life. It is impossible to serve two masters; so you either submit, honor, and live accordingly to the Bible and Gods Word or you live the opposite. If you apply eternity to the equation; people will either go to heaven or hell. There is no place in between and the spirit and physical collide here on earth; it is only after death that they separate. I’m just glad life has crushed my physical body aka flesh, pride and allowed my spirit to soar beyond the carnal in the world. I think life is actually pretty simplistic if you are able to ignore all the noise and distractions that Satan places in our tracks.
The current political environment has also exposed a vast amount of what I call “Christians In Name Only” and have shown insurmountable hate from a bunch of frauds that believe they are right with God; they can roll scripture off their tongue all while spewing verbal venom at the drop of a post.
“Thou Shall Not Steal” goes far beyond the physical; it most certainly applies to the spiritual; stealing opportunity, experience, peace, and joy, are all wrong by Gods standard. People think nothing of the intention of their words and the motivation of their sick hearts. It sure does reveal a persons true nature to those inclined by the spiritual. If you aren’t able to recognize the human spirit, it’s impossible to witness the Holy Spirit since that isn’t visible to the eyes? Again, it really does separate the sheep from the wolves in society. We have a major theft problem in society presently and it is a symptom of Satan!

If I hear more garbage about Russia interfering with the elections I think I could scream; the shear insanity! More than 50% of voters didn’t want Hillary Clinton as President either but the Democrat party is now the party of denial and demons apparently? I didn’t vote for Trump, however, if there was a re-vote I would in a heart beat. God is Sovereign and He has allowed Trump to lead our country; that is reality!

Romans 13:1-5New Living Translation (NLT)
Respect for Authority

13 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2 So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. 3 For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. 4 The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. 5 So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.

Too many people deny God’s power and authority. Government has become a false idol and government has become a tool for Satan.
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT
It all just continues to break my heart. The world needs truth and Jesus in politics again; so I try to be a small voice of sanity and thankful for the few steady politicians with integrity like Rand Paul, Mike Lee, Trey Gowdy, Ted Cruz, and locally Adam Kinzinger.

Traditional Norwegian Easter foods


As  a Norwegian having lived abroad for 20 years, I often have to re-examine my own culture and traditions when asked by Americans what is typical Norwegian foods for different occasions.  What seemed natural is no longer so, as  I have  adopted my own way of life and ways of eating here in the U.S.   Christmas is probably the easiest holiday to explain, because most people will prepare our cured and salted mutton (“ribbe” or “pinnekjøtt”) or pork belly with the various accoutrements.   But what about Easter?  This holiday gives people a little more freedom as to what to eat, and you will find a variety of dishes throughout the country.  The tradition isn’t as strong as at Christmas when it comes to food, more experimenting will go on, perhaps  even modern and international dishes will find its way to the table.  Most Norwegians will first think of oranges…

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Organized Brain

Your Brain is Organized

You like a lot of structure in your life, and you’re good at getting things in order.
You have a good eye for details, and you are excellent at following difficult directions.

You are a natural planner, and you always feel a bit lost if you don’t have a plan drawn up.
You like to have a routine and stick to it. Chaos stresses you out.

Bad Medicine

Life has seemed like a treasure hunt in pursuit of pieces to the health puzzle I have sought over the last 23+ years hoping to regain my health. I think I first need to add a disclaimer; the intention of this post isn’t to insult doctors because I have great respect for my providers, albeit they seem to be confined to the book of “one size fits all” answers? My goal would be to expose the flaws in the broken system and transform health as God has intended, because He is a healer! What happened to individualized medicine? The world has sucked in medicine, just like everything else!
I guess I thought seeking care at a facility based on Christianity; where the slogan was “we treat the human spirit” might involve seeking the Creator and Holy Spirit for guidance? Not only did it not seem the case; I actually had to argue many times about wasteful tests before procedures; like pregnancy, because apparently I couldn’t possibly be single,over 30, and celibate living in society by the worlds standard? Why would I lie about my standard of faith? I guess the question should be, why do so many not own their life? Of course, I do have a past, but fortunately I have learned from those mistakes and Sarcoidosis has taught me. When you have a chronic illness you no longer have a choice but to submit to wisdom.
Another contradiction, I thought medicine was suppose to be a science? I have found very little science in the broken system as I have tried to scale it. Science would actually test for the specific microorganism causing illness; whether bacteria,viral,fungal, or parasite. If the intention is to treat or cure a condition with a medication it shouldn’t be potentially worthless. In addition, those treatments can come with horrible consequences’ to the magnificent human machine God created. Logic explains in order to heal or cure an illness, the cause must be addressed. I can’t help but compare a vehicle to the human body; if the car didn’t start would you just add gas or oil and hope it starts? LOL Of course not! So why is this an acceptable norm in medicine?
It has never made sense to treat an over responsive immune malfunction with destruction? Satan is the thief and destroyer; so now medicine is used as a tool for Satan? That is the depth of my heart and how my pure heart understands it. I guess I am just too spiritual for this world? God created our immune system for survival in a dangerous ecosystem that contains plenty of ammunition that the enemy intends to use for destruction. Our bodies divinely use homeostasis to adapt to our surroundings. I can’t deny that some of the medications achieved the desired momentary result and have been beneficial initially for survival, however, 20+ years of immune suppression is excessive and outweighs the good. Less really is more and moderation is key with anything in life. Drugs have taken the role of instant gratification by current medical standards and are manipulative tools against intelligent design. Keeping someone alive to just survive has never been my desire; quality over quantity is my goal. I just wish the purpose of medicine was to actually improve health and not just mask symptoms and problems afflicted by this broken and deceptive world.
Ephesians 6:12-13New Living Translation (NLT)
12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.
I could list so many scriptures because I have been living the scriptures and I’m tired of living in a one dimensional world based only on the physical, when Life is the product of the Spirit. After recently documenting my medical history to apply for disability, I realized on paper I probably appear dead? Over just the last 23 years I have had 17 surgeries, 28 hospital admissions, and 390 appointments since 2004 at one location for care. However, I am more alive than ever by the Holy Spirit; who is my strength in my weakness and limitations.
James 1:2-3New Living Translation (NLT)
Faith and Endurance
2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
As a result of my endurance, I finally found an answer on my Mayo clinic profile to all the horrible reactions to medications that I have experienced. They were able to do some genetic blood tests, which did indicate an explanation of my medication issues. It is actually very technical, however, I have proof now!

Service Date/Time: 29-Mar-2016 19:31
Provider: Daniel E. Maddox, MD Pager: 4-7398

Pharmacogenomic analysis of the patient’s drug metabolizing enzymes demonstrated several potentially clinically significant abnormalities. First, the patient is an intermediate metabolizer for catechol-O-methyltransferase, and this means that she is at some risk for toxic side effects if multiple doses of adrenaline are given in the course of a resuscitation event. The patient is a potentially
altered rapid metabolizer of CYP1A2, and this potential can be
stimulated by exposure to certain environmental substances as listed in the complete laboratory report. The patient is a potential altered rapid metabolizer of CYP2C19, which means that pro drugs may get converted to active variants at an accelerated pace and lead to toxicities and compounds which are active in their native form may require larger than expected doses in order to achieve clinically useful blood levels. The patient is an intermediate
metabolizer for CYP2C9, which means that she is at
increased risk of toxic side effects and accumulation of
abnormally elevated blood levels with standard doses of the drugs handled by this center. The patient is normal for
CYP2D6-related drugs and normal for CYP3A4-related
drugs. #MyBodyDoesNotLie
So clearly even in illness; there is nothing common about me and I’m satisfied with that. The last 2 decades have been such a growing process that keeps me connected and seeking the Light and Truth of Jesus and His Supernatural and phenomenal ways. I never wanted to be identified by my illness, however, I think I could be famous for being ill? So I guess I am coming out of the medical closet. God can make illness into an art form. My body is loud and I believe my God can silence it; if not in this life, then for eternity. God continues to divinely lead me to bits and pieces of Heaven.

Single Because

So I find it interesting and misguided the fascination that married people have with single people? Although I realize the sentiment isn’t necessarily malice, it is in itself peculiar to ask “Why are you single?” I have wondered should I be asking couples “Why are you married?” SMH , I don’t know, it just never occurred to me to wonder about another persons path and choices in life? I wasn’t aware that we were all on the same path and had the same goals in life? Where did I go wrong; I don’t think I have? Maybe if I somehow felt equipped to plan my life in this broken world and see everything and know all, it might be an option? Maybe it is because I’m a perfectionist, so naturally I am seeking and trusting the only perfect, constant, and truth in life that I know; which is the creator and designer of my life and others.
So to explain: I am single because I do not have an agenda in this world. I humbly realize Gods plans and timing are so much better than my own. I know this because I have taken my time and practiced patience; which the Bible promotes! Patience is a virtue and we become what we seek. Secondly, why is it assumed that if you are not married, it is a must have? Sadly the worldly idea of marriage does not intrigue me at all. I am 43 and know several people my age that have been married and divorced twice by now; this alone should cause people to question timing of marriage and should not be rushed? Maybe, just maybe, I was meant to be like Paul and single? I have no idea because I never got those specific plans that apparently the rest of the married people received? lol I’m thankful I have always been able to embrace my path and choose the less traveled road and I haven’t done it on my own! Typically in past relationships they distracted me from my relationship with God, which is a big red flag. All I know is that I guess I’m lazy and want God to figure it out for me? 😉 I also sometimes wonder if desiring marriage so badly could actually lead to spiritual coveting; which is not a choice that God allows my heart to make. There are so many scriptures that speak to me in my singleness.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

If you seek Love in a marriage, you better be patient since Love is patient! Maybe that is a major difference in what I seek? I am not seeking marriage, I seek Love honestly and I don’t feel void of it either being single. If you aren’t able to experience Love while single, you will never be able to give any to receive and doing it wrong. I experience great love from friends, family, and even others I’ve never met or seen. Love is spiritual and too many focus on the physical it seems?
My theory is, if you focus on what you don’t have, you will miss what you have. So I am focusing on what I have in Christ and sincerely grateful.

Ecclesiastes 6:9New Living Translation (NLT)

9 Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless—like chasing the wind.

Maybe, just maybe, I have something being single that most people can’t see and it’s called faith, hope, and Love and it’s more than enough for me!



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Mothers Prayer

Growing up I witnessed my mother and learned the scripture “I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me” Phil 4:13. As a child growing up I observed all her amazing gifts; while supporting 3 children as a single mom. It is because of her guidance I can tell the story of walking home … Continue reading