Not Alright 2006

I don’t discuss my illness very often because it doesn’t define me and fortunately it typically doesn’t appear very obvious on the outside: it simply reveals all the amazing and miraculous ways God heals and protects. Just yesterday my brother was reflecting with me about the time he lived in California and thought he might be coming home to my funeral. It took me a little while to figure out which episode he was referring to? lol ( it was 2006) I wrote about my experience:

Well I spent the last week in Loyola Hospital and got home Good Friday (was it ever, Praise Be To God!). It all started Sunday April 9, 2006’. I had gone to church feeling great and everyone telling me how great and energetic I appeared and in a matter of 3 hours after preparing for bed I was completely out of it. I couldn’t remember any phone numbers so I headed to the car door first with much difficulty. After having trouble unlocking the car door, I then tried the house door with no success. So it was back to try the car door again. Somehow my angels got me into the car and over to my uncles house around 1 am; by a miracle my uncle awoke. I was unable to speak. He immediately called my mother and told her to “get there now” They then proceeded to take me into Loyola. I was diagnosed with a 2 and 1/2inch lesion in the left side of my brain, which is responsible for communication. It was my 5th episode and one of the scariest. I was incoherent and couldn’t remember my families or doctor’s names or much of anything. I had aphasia; Satan was after one of my greatest gifts to destroy me because I had been creating way too much good in this world. By the 12th the speech therapist were insisting I have mandatory speech therapy. God conquered and I have come back or at least well on my way and I passed all the tests they gave me on Friday. They dropped the notion of therapy for now. I have been on very aggressive immune-suppressive therapy (4 to be exact ) and it has shrunk the sarcoidosis lesions. When I was in the hospital I had the best nurses and techs; one even fed to me spiritually and said that she saw that I was blessed. I don’t take my blessings for granted by any means. It is one of the reasons I am compelled to use my voice and communication skills; it also explains my desire to take all these tests  that involve writing/words skills such as spelling,grammar and vocabulary. Every time I achieve a very high score I am praising my Lord and Savior; I am not trying to boast about my abilities apart from God.

The song that sure does speak to me right now is by Sanctus Real/ I’m not alright
Chorus I’m not alright, I’m broken inside, broken inside
and all I go through leads me to you
and Plumb
In the end what leaves you broken, makes you better


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