Single Because

So I find it interesting and misguided the fascination that married people have with single people? Although I realize the sentiment isn’t necessarily malice, it is in itself peculiar to ask “Why are you single?” I have wondered should I be asking couples “Why are you married?” SMH , I don’t know, it just never occurred to me to wonder about another persons path and choices in life? I wasn’t aware that we were all on the same path and had the same goals in life? Where did I go wrong; I don’t think I have? Maybe if I somehow felt equipped to plan my life in this broken world and see everything and know all, it might be an option? Maybe it is because I’m a perfectionist, so naturally I am seeking and trusting the only perfect, constant, and truth in life that I know; which is the creator and designer of my life and others.
So to explain: I am single because I do not have an agenda in this world. I humbly realize Gods plans and timing are so much better than my own. I know this because I have taken my time and practiced patience; which the Bible promotes! Patience is a virtue and we become what we seek. Secondly, why is it assumed that if you are not married, it is a must have? Sadly the worldly idea of marriage does not intrigue me at all. I am 43 and know several people my age that have been married and divorced twice by now; this alone should cause people to question timing of marriage and should not be rushed? Maybe, just maybe, I was meant to be like Paul and single? I have no idea because I never got those specific plans that apparently the rest of the married people received? lol I’m thankful I have always been able to embrace my path and choose the less traveled road and I haven’t done it on my own! Typically in past relationships they distracted me from my relationship with God, which is a big red flag. All I know is that I guess I’m lazy and want God to figure it out for me? 😉 I also sometimes wonder if desiring marriage so badly could actually lead to spiritual coveting; which is not a choice that God allows my heart to make. There are so many scriptures that speak to me in my singleness.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

If you seek Love in a marriage, you better be patient since Love is patient! Maybe that is a major difference in what I seek? I am not seeking marriage, I seek Love honestly and I don’t feel void of it either being single. If you aren’t able to experience Love while single, you will never be able to give any to receive and doing it wrong. I experience great love from friends, family, and even others I’ve never met or seen. Love is spiritual and too many focus on the physical it seems?
My theory is, if you focus on what you don’t have, you will miss what you have. So I am focusing on what I have in Christ and sincerely grateful.

Ecclesiastes 6:9New Living Translation (NLT)

9 Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless—like chasing the wind.

Maybe, just maybe, I have something being single that most people can’t see and it’s called faith, hope, and Love and it’s more than enough for me!

Insensitive

Dear God,
Forgive me for my lack of understanding and empathy of those that do not desire you like I feel I do. With that being said, I also must thank you for allowing me to lose virtually everything in this material world and discover a whole new world with You. You have become my Everything! I don’t need reminders to prioritize my prayer time and devotion with you because it is as necessary as the air I breathe. After spending nearly 23 years with a malfunctioning immune system the daily walk becomes a miracle for what can only be perceived as impossible. I have experienced the supernatural and the scripture in the Bible have come alive on a very regular basis. I would have never believed or realized what has been possible if it weren’t for having all the distractions of living in the flesh removed: First, my health that most people take for granted and depend upon to allow them to accomplish so many daily tasks with their physical bodies, which include employment and income. Secondly,being rescued from my job that has landed me in the hospital an average of 3 to 4 times annually for the last 5 years. Now that I have been away for going on a year, it is obvious because this will be the first year I have not been in the hospital and I praise you Lord! Despite my ability to obtain any constant income, You have provided for my needs through various sources; including people I haven’t seen in years. I’m so blessed and recognize how less really is more. I thank you Lord for the amazing grandparents who provide for me beyond the grave because they lived and fulfilled a purpose driven legacy. I am patiently waiting for your guidance in the next move on this earth and praying I will get it right and continue to avoid the deceptive path that many follow. I have found the most joy in doing the opposite of what the majority have pursued. I’m single, have a chronic illness, no income, and yet I feel I have overcome the world.
So many times my father has commented “When you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.” It has really irritated me since I have had a chronic illness for the last 23 years and I completely disagree and find the comment very insensitive and limited in perception. While it might be true in the material world; when you don’t have your health, you have God and He is everything! God is the source that provides what really matters. What I also find so ironic is that it seems that many that have their health take it for granted in the same breath; as if they were entitled to it and it is guaranteed? While I would never wish anyone illness, it has allowed me to experience my complete dependence on Christ and His supernatural ways!

I relish the time I currently have focusing on You completely while serving others intentionally, and sharing my soul that is filled with Your insight and promises as I seek to prepare for the day when I can see Your face. Insanity is believing and living as if you are without limitations and everything in life is either random or carefully calculated; as if you have all the control. Insanity is only understanding and recognizing what you allow your eyes to see.