Insensitive

Dear God,
Forgive me for my lack of understanding and empathy of those that do not desire you like I feel I do. With that being said, I also must thank you for allowing me to lose virtually everything in this material world and discover a whole new world with You. You have become my Everything! I don’t need reminders to prioritize my prayer time and devotion with you because it is as necessary as the air I breathe. After spending nearly 23 years with a malfunctioning immune system the daily walk becomes a miracle for what can only be perceived as impossible. I have experienced the supernatural and the scripture in the Bible have come alive on a very regular basis. I would have never believed or realized what has been possible if it weren’t for having all the distractions of living in the flesh removed: First, my health that most people take for granted and depend upon to allow them to accomplish so many daily tasks with their physical bodies, which include employment and income. Secondly,being rescued from my job that has landed me in the hospital an average of 3 to 4 times annually for the last 5 years. Now that I have been away for going on a year, it is obvious because this will be the first year I have not been in the hospital and I praise you Lord! Despite my ability to obtain any constant income, You have provided for my needs through various sources; including people I haven’t seen in years. I’m so blessed and recognize how less really is more. I thank you Lord for the amazing grandparents who provide for me beyond the grave because they lived and fulfilled a purpose driven legacy. I am patiently waiting for your guidance in the next move on this earth and praying I will get it right and continue to avoid the deceptive path that many follow. I have found the most joy in doing the opposite of what the majority have pursued. I’m single, have a chronic illness, no income, and yet I feel I have overcome the world.
So many times my father has commented “When you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.” It has really irritated me since I have had a chronic illness for the last 23 years and I completely disagree and find the comment very insensitive and limited in perception. While it might be true in the material world; when you don’t have your health, you have God and He is everything! God is the source that provides what really matters. What I also find so ironic is that it seems that many that have their health take it for granted in the same breath; as if they were entitled to it and it is guaranteed? While I would never wish anyone illness, it has allowed me to experience my complete dependence on Christ and His supernatural ways!

I relish the time I currently have focusing on You completely while serving others intentionally, and sharing my soul that is filled with Your insight and promises as I seek to prepare for the day when I can see Your face. Insanity is believing and living as if you are without limitations and everything in life is either random or carefully calculated; as if you have all the control. Insanity is only understanding and recognizing what you allow your eyes to see.

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