Mommy Fearest

Documentation of maternal manic episodes with psychosis.

Collection of texts in my email

I have primarily ignored my bipolar mothers rantings with the exception of a few responses (SA) It started with me sending a link from my email to her phone, involving battery safety after her coming to my house the previous night at 10pm to charge a battery. She started verbally attacking me after I triggered her spirit of offense; telling her she had no common sense. The pictures are the best evidence that my assessment was correct of her not having common sense after discovering she put the heavy battery on an already weakened box that contained a sump pump in the basement. WTF? Does this seem rational? I’m thinking the demons controlling her mind probably did want to blow me and the house up. Thanking the Lord for His protection. Although at this point I am exhausted by her mental gymnastics and abuse, so blowing up to be with my heavenly Father would be a relief. At first I thought she was always gaslighting me all the time, but then I started researching as typical and realized these are episodes of psychosis and she really believes her warped alternate reality that I attacked her? She actually got up from my loveseat and got in my face, so I took each of my hands on the lower part of her arms with enough firmness to keep her away from invading my personal space. She then hit me a couple times on my arms like a 2 year old and I demanded she leave. Everyone of her messages is projection and witchcraft; accusing me of her perception, which is compromised by prescription drugs. She has been taking zolpidem for many years for sleeping and I consistently have warned her the dangers involved with the medication after working in pharmacy nearly 15 years. Elderly people are especially sensitive to drugs and this particular medication should only be used temporary, up to 5 weeks. It doesn’t take much research or understanding of how the drug impacts the central nervous system and brain; it is classified as a hypnotic. Hypnosis is a door to demonic oppression, just as anything that inhibits a persons control. I wish churches taught about the spiritual reality involved with satan and demons. There is a reason spiritual warfare and deliverance is promoted in the Bible.

Spiritual Discernment

June 27, 2021 3:11pm

Manic mother: “No information listed with your dumb phone.”

SA: You mean your satanic phone! I sent from my email, you can’t even recognize where you are receiving messages! Talk about deception!!!!!!

Manic Mother: “You are wrong. Most of what you criticize and show me information on doesn’t have to do with me. It is a reflection of your demonic spirits. You are filled with them, since that is all you talk about. But you are so delusional that you don’t know when you are the one who attacked me and left marks on me because of your demons. I could have called the police and had you charged with abuse. Maybe it would do you some good to sit in jail and pray to God to be forgiven for the way you treat your mother and family. You are not right with God. You need to repent for all your wrong doing and ungratefulness.

SA: LOL, Jesus Christ says different! Nice projection again! Your spirit of fantasy is being revealed!

Manic Mother: “How does email come to a phone? Think about it. How do you expect to send me something that I can read, if it is sent by email through text from a dumb phone. My phone is a phone. Nothing more evil than your phone. Your computer is just as evil as anything. It is man made, and run by men. Tired of your BS.”

SA: OMG, how are you connected to facebook? Proving again you have no common sense. How would I be able to send a link on the internet with my phone that is “dumb” aka no internet? You keep proving you are clueless!

Manic Mother: “It would be nice if you could admit that you are wrong sometimes. You always have to be right. Everyone is wrong. If I try to correct you on your misinterpretation of the Bible, you cast it off as my misinterpretation.”

Manic Mother: “Try sending the battery stuff by FB. That’s why the stuff you send me is so screwed up. Not my phone, but your wrong thinking.”


Manic Mother: “You don’t remember that I have a FB account?”

“Messenger and FB are connected by your phone number. That’s why I can’t go to your information, because your dumb phone doesn’t connect with the internet, since your dumb phone isn’t connected to the internet. I need to be connected to the internet with my smartphone in order to get paid and send charting. I now get paid $.50 extra per day for using my smartphone, since everything is going to a smartphone. Why in the world would you want your Dad’s old smartphone when it is so satanic? You will be forced in the future to get a smartphone. That is inevitable. The only reason I didn’t get a free smartphone, was because I was trying to keep in connection to you, and not cost you more money. I spent $400 to save you money. I give you free AAA service. It is not free. You never think of all the things I do for you. It is so nice to be unappreciated by a daughter who yells and abuses her mother. The fact that you don’t realize that you attacked me and left marks, shows me that you are mentally ill, which is a sickness probably caused by demons. I hope that you ask God for forgiveness for the way you treat your Mother. The right thing to do would be to apologize to me for hurting me. But you will never do that, because you are above anyone. You never do anything wrong, in your mind.

“Yes, God did give me that house, but it is your Mother who allows you to live there. That is why I bought it from my brother. For you to have a place to live. God lives in me, or you would be out of that house. God will speak to me, and through him, he might tell me to kick you out, because of your disrespectfulness. Don’t take your home for granted. I could rent it very fast, because of supply and demand. Housing is scarce, and lumber is so high, that people can’t afford to build.

“Why should I be renting my condo, when I have a perfectly good home that I could live in? Why should I allow you to live there? Do I do for your brother and sister, like I sacrifice for you? I never took a vacation or got paid my whole salary because I had to take off time to take you to hospitals, appointments, and try to care for you the best I could. Was your Dad there for you or visited you when hospitalized? No he was too busy working for himself. He was a very selfish person who thought of himself 1st. He only came or did things if it didn’t inconvenience him. Your sickness was an inconvenience. You were an inconvenience all of his life. He wrote you off in his taxes. Who helped you out with education? Once the child support was done, so was his support. Who loaned David the money so that he could go for his dream? Not your Dad. He lived a high on the hog life. He spent more money on coins, paintings, and himself. He never sacrificed anything for you kids. He spent all of his money and set Pam up for retirement. He left you practically nothing. He didn’t spend all of his life’s savings on healthcare. Mine will probably go there, since none of my children will offer to care for me.”

“Don’t tell me that you can judge me from my fruits. You don’t know how to see fruits. I have been blessed by God with many fruits that you are blinded by satan, so you can’t see them. God blessed me to be able to work as hard as I have in the past. Where did the money go? To support you kids. I bought clothes for you instead of myself. Don’t you remember me going up 66 flights of steps every morning delivering papers so that I could stay home and be a good mother to you? I worked my butt off for you kids, and you didn’t even have the decency to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day? What kind of daughter are you? What kind of person are you? Why have you filled the upstairs full of clothes? A chip off the old block? You are NOT perfect! You have a lot of work to do on yourself.”

“Yes, I do appreciate what things you have done around the house. That is not respect for me, but to God. Yes, I have made mistakes, but I have learned from them. You have not forgiven me, if all you can do is criticize and belittle your Mother, brother, and sister. When you speak, it isn’t gossip, but if I do,it is gossip. You think that you have the Bible down, but I was taught the Bible from the Presbyterian Church. It wasn’t just a region as you claim. I was taught scripture, and I have studied the Bible for many years, way deeper then I think you have. I am not going to compare, like you. I know it in my heart, but I lack the ability of quoting it. My biggest connection to God was my music. He allowed me to pick the best music, and teach those kids for Vacation Bible School. I was asked to share my talent at church. I didn’t sing for myself. I sang for God, and that is why I did a good job. He spoke through me. I do the same with the Rockford Christian Fellowship Band. You want me to cut off my relationship with him through music. Satan must want that. You should be proud of my dedication, talent, and love of music in honoring God. You have never supported my music, but I always supported your’s.

“Man you do psychological twisting of everything you say. I just have to tip toe on egg shells, and have to coddle you because of your illness. You are so unappreciative. Miss entitled. I do what I do because I don’t want you to blame me for your mental illness that causes you to get sicker. I can always cancel my lease and move in. That would save me $1,050 per month, or $12,600 a year, which could go on home improvement. This is not a mind game. It is the truth. I am only here due to concern for your health. But again, why should I care? You don’t care about me. That is how I show my love, but you wouldn’t understand, since you don’t understand what love is. Before your head snapped, you used to tell me how I really had the word love down. Maybe that is a good idea to move in. Then you wouldn’t have any bills. I would pay for everything, and let you stay for free. That should help ease your stress, so you can heal yourself. That sounds like a brilliant idea for both of us. Less stress for both of us. Like the idea God just gave me?”

SA: LOL  You are on a manic episode of bipolar1 ! #irony Just stop showing how desperately evil and unhappy and dysregulated you are! Jesus causes peace. A rational person doesn’t seek and harass what causes them discomfort and fear. You really are nuts!

Manic Mother: June 28, 2021 2:03am

“You have discomfort and fear? That is of the devil. A rational person doesn’t attack her mother and cause bodily harm. A person who is right with God isn’t filled with so much anger that they attack people and try to hurt them. Look in the mirror. Your eyes were filled with evil, but I wasn’t afraid, because God was with me. My presence shouldn’t have gotten you upset. I did nothing to upset a sane person. Look in the mirror and into yourself. What you deflect on me, or say about me, is really how you are. A person full of evil spirits. You are obsessed about demonic spirits, because you are overflowing with them. The house is full of them since you moved in. That’s why crosses fly across the room, and you see them on the floor. Evil people attack others for no reason. A narcissist (you) tries to put people down to uplift themselves up. You are Debbie Downer. No one can stand to talk to you, because all you say are bad things about them. They know they have problems, but don’t need to be reminded constantly. I have told you in the past, that your approach is wrong. Instead of helping people come closer to God, you make them get farther away. No one wants to hear your judging words.That is between God and us. The Bible says that we should not judge others the way you do. And that is NOT out of context. Stephanie is wrong, but Stephanie can’t admit being wrong. She has to claim that she is always right. When my Dad said don’t question me, I am always right, he was! You think you know everything, but you don’t, and it is sinful to deny it. Jesus never fought with people about the truth. He just spoke it. You argue because you can’t stand to be wrong. Admit your faults. You claim that I am trying to control you. How? I never do that. What demands do I make of you? When I set limits on what I can take, you get mad, hang up, or block me like a child. I am not going to take any more of your disrespect. If you keep treating me poorly, then you can get lost. I can change my will. You don’t deserve anything, the way you treat me. You deserve to get what your father gave you. Practically nothing!”

2:07am “You get what you sow. You must not like the roof I have provided over your head. I guess that you would rather sleep on the street in your car. Grow up and fly right, like I taught you. Quit being disrespectful to me. Read your Bible and look at scripture about how you are to respect your elders. I am the adult, and you will always be my child. Get that right. You will always be my child!” (Can you say enmeshment, I’m almost 50 years old.)

2:25am “Guess that you need to read the dictionary, and find a different word, because harass is definitely the wrong word to use. I did nothing of that kind. Your mental illness is progressing fast. You are delusional! You soon won’t need to live in the house. You will be locked up in an insane asylum at the rate you are going. You WILL be left alone in your own private padded cell. You are fruit loops! You keep proving it all the time. What fruits you have are rotten. Or shall I say your fruits are loopy. Your texts come to me as two people. Maybe that is because of your split personality. Think about that. A chip off the old departed block. I never knew how he would be when he came home. The house could be spotless, with only one toy out of place, and he would blow up. You are just like him Stephan ie”

I think harassment is the perfect word for her messages?

Notice how her rantings are all over the place and don’t make any sense? She continually plays the victim and contradicts herself. I am abusive, so she thinks she should move into the house with me? She will pay all my bills despite I am ungrateful? By the way, she owns a home that has been condemned because of her hoarding and is actually why she is renting a condo to live; it is the 2nd home she has filled and destroyed. I believe I posted those pictures in a previous blog but including it again. She also keeps on stating to look in the mirror. Again demons are “spirits” that reveal themselves in behaviors or “fruits” and you can’t see them with your eyes? She throws things she’s done for me as a child in my face as if that is love. She desperately needs others to affirm her and her activities because she is an insecure and toxic person filled with shame. When I do things, I don’t need others to support me because I receive satisfaction in doing what I choose as the right thing according to Biblical teaching. I find her messages disturbing but maybe I am really the crazy one? She constantly reveals her narcissistic grandiosity by throwing out her ownership and control. My peace is worth way more than her “will” with conditions; talk about manipulation and emotional extortion. She can’t accept consequences for her behavior. The big items she has destroyed so far are 2 houses, a camper, and a pontoon boat. I refuse to allow her to destroy the house my grandfather built and I have lived and cared for since 1994. Prior to becoming disabled with no income I invested $15,000 in rent alone; not including all the 10 years of maintenance involved with taking care of a house. My mother doesn’t understand how to take care of anything; she destroys everything. Emotionally healthy individuals avoid toxic people and don’t demand them to change. She doesn’t even understand boundaries or spiritual autonomy. All my life she slandered my father and used my siblings and me as tools to control and punish him for divorcing her, yet had to be present at his funeral and memorialize that they would have been married 50 years if they stayed married? Spirit of fantasy is very obvious in her twisted world. I thank the Lord for my stepmother after losing my father recently, so I have a caring and stable parental association. My mother is clueless about my relationship with my father or anyone else for that matter. Any divided attention would be a threat to her broken spirit. I learned very early on to never share any personal details involved with my life, for her to weaponize. She bases her reality on assumptions and weaponized love. Jesus Christ is not the author of chaos and destruction but satan and demons sure are. The triangulation game is also a regular pattern involved with her life. What she does for my brother and sister have nothing to do with me. When money is your master, caring for your minor daughter during illness is a sacrifice. I am including a link to my initial post of documentation after discovering the truth about my mother. Documentation has been a therapeutic way for me to help comprehend my experience and evaluate the truth.

1 Timothy 6:6-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. 7 After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. 8 So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

Dr. Less Carter is such a great influence and insightful.