The only purpose of the news media is their obvious reporting that reveals an agenda; kill, steal, and destroy. Once again, my experience with chronic illness has allowed the Holy Spirit to continue using it to expose the demonic nature of the worldly system and use it for good. The corona virus news is completely irrational for both physical and spiritual reasons; revealing spiritual deception. It took 22+ years of being in bondage to our medical system to learn the very hard way that it has never been about healing,fixing, or wellness; if it was, I would not have lived over 26 years immune suppressed and currently disabled. However, the disappointment lead me to the cross; which was where it needed to begin. It took approximately 2 years for the medical community to even put a label on my illness, but it didn’t stop them from treating the symptoms. Once I was diagnosed, it also didn’t change the way they treated the symptoms because the root cause is irrelevant to actually correcting and repairing in a worldly system that blindly serves satan. On top of my diagnosis, being immune suppressed exposed me to a wide variety of sickness; virus, bacteria, parasites, and fungus; yet only testing for a specific virus (influenza) once in 2015, during the entire history. Accordingly they blindly treated the multiple illness’ with antibiotics on occasion, despite any evidence or proof of infection. Viral testing is not typical in the medical practice despite virus’ being very typical. This alone should speak volumes about the lack of willingness of the healthcare system to achieve answers. The customary practice is based on assumption/presumption that involve symptom resolution and not health. In fact, I have survived numerous virus’, including influenza-b, pneumonia, and shingles twice over the last 26 years with immune suppression. It was a medication that almost killed me; causing a-plastic anemia with a hemoglobin of 4.6. Not so ironically that medication was hydroxychloroquin, the medication they are testing to treat corona virus; which is a sulpha medication. There is far greater risk taking any medication; just read the drug profile warnings. It’s actually ironic all the names assigned to illness’ when at the core, the problems are based on similar biologic dysfunction that manifest differently in the body.
From the beginning of this viral conspiracy, my heavenly sensor was triggered deeply by all the inconsistency and the not so coincidental, even convenient, power play it was appearing to seek. The media keeps pushing the need for testing of the virus, however, testing for the corona virus or any other virus is completely irrelevant, because it doesn’t produce a solution; specifically the way it is treated. Labeling any illness is just a way to appear they can control it; built on lies and mind control. This becomes very apparent if you have ever had to deal with the medical system and doctors for any length of time. All men are flawed and prone to deception, including those that happen to study and receive a degree in any subject; including medicine. Studying flawed information only makes you an expert in deception. Our entire education system is nothing more than a system of intellectual idolatry when it is tested against scripture. The Bible is our tool for discernment and surviving all forms of deception. This world is untrustworthy and we have an epidemic of trusting idols which can only lead to destruction. We have a fear and idolatry pandemic and need to be more concerned with what is hidden spiritually; behind all the extreme focus! Do you discern deflection?
There is nothing rational about locking people away to hide from exposure to a specific microorganism among many. It reveals complete ignorance of the biologic system; which include virus’, bacteria, and parasites within the natural flora and completely disregards the immune system all together.
Sadly my favorite past time lately has been debunking all the media lies and the lies are plenty. The Bible teaches us to test spirits and there are demonic spirits evident to those involved in the content of the media. The media has a condition I would compare to ADHD and nearsighted in context. The focus exploits while eliminating far greater threats; vehicle collisions, aging, accidents, obesity, alcoholism, diabetes, opioids, and even iatrogenic death. The list is never ending in a proper perspective. The media perspective of the current corona virus crisis is an agenda based on presumption which is realistically unfounded. Spiritually and rationally this effort is completely blown out of proportion and leads to demonic spiritual fruits. We live by faith, not sight, and certainly not by worldly understanding. The purpose of the media is fear based and the corona virus is the current weapon of choice. Not only does the Bible warn numerous times of the source of fear being spiritually demonic but, in addition, there are physical repercussions, which impact the physical body that are harmful; causing hormone production, inflammation, confusion, and immune suppression. Fear is an assault to life physically that is perpetuated spiritually. The crisis is completely irrational when you actually analyze all the information available regarding this virus exposure. I’ve included the statistics from the World Health Organization so you can use your own mind about the truth.
The misunderstanding of virus’ and ignorance of the human body is apparent with the use of masks. Virus’ do not fly or remain suspended in the air. A virus is contracted by touching something that has the viral protein on it’s surface. After it is on your hand the protein is transmitted by touching your face,nose,eyes where it has access to travel by way of the lymphatic system via mucous to the lungs. There is a false understanding that you breathe in a respiratory virus. I suppose if somebody coughed in your face or was close enough when coughing, without covering their mouth, it could potentially be inhaled but it is unlikely. There is a reason why so much emphasis is placed on hand washing for prevention because hands and skin are the transmitters that the protein obtains access to mucous carriers within the bodies lymphatic system.
Further more, the statistics by the CDC have been continually manipulated to exploit this virus in an attempt to politicize and weaponize it.
Romans 12:2 New International Version (NIV) 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
At the root of any physical crises is a spiritual manifestation. This world is the enemy and therefor our focus always needs to start much deeper, where the enemy operates. In order to know the enemy, we must be able to recognize spiritual fruits the Bible exposes in Galatians 5:19-25. The Bible truly is the best source and provides healing at the source. I believe all illness is rooted in deception, being disconnected from our Creator and treating the divine physical body as a temple. This world keeps us running in circles, chasing the next crises and cure, when stillness is where we find we already possess access to our own power and well being. You can’t focus on Christ and His truth when you are captivated by the media and world; which is the strategy of the demonic world. Seek the Kingdom of Heaven first! Spiritual discernment saves lives.
During difficult times I have been continually lead to the Word and quiet time with Christ. While the world screams of chaos, it presents an awareness of the spiritual ignorance that is the real threat. Understanding the spiritual process of sanctification and knowing Christ produces peace in the truth of scripture. As a result it becomes apparent the true identity of any conflict according to “fruits”. If people were inclined to turn off the TV and open their Bible to spend time with our Lord and Savior, we would not have a crisis. Reality is based on perception and it points to the source of our motivation.
The way we deal with uncertainty lets us know whether Jesus is ahead of us leading, or behind us just carrying our stuff. ~Bob Goff
Finally, I would like to add a source from Dr. John Bergman who is always thought provoking and provides diverse documentation with reliable information. I have been subscribing to his channel for several years now during my journey trying to recover my health after allopathic mismanagement of my illness. He has an ideal combination of spiritual wisdom combined with solid understanding of human anatomy and biology. I have found his material to effectively communicate complex issues with a gift for teaching. It is obvious his intent is to truly help people and challenge the unfortunate ways of the world.
Romans 12:3-8 New International Version (NIV) Humble Service in the Body of Christ 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Discovered such a profound and deeply moving movie and wanted to share with others who seek understanding, spiritually grounded, and truly love others as Christ. The movie “Red Pill” is a great study in human behavior and psychology. Abuse is about “control” and controlling spirits are demonic. Good vs Evil. This world feeds the lies that there are blurred lines. Fortunate I have grown up recognizing the insanity of this deceptive and pushed culture. Being focused deeper enables an ability to discern the insanity of labeling and “feminism”. In addition, testing the spiritual fruits of those inflicted by this bondage also brings awareness that feminist’s are overcome by a jezebel spirit; it is a spiritual disease of demons. We are all afflicted in this world, just uniquely and differently, because satan targets our weakness and blind spots. People under the control of this spirit are fueled by selfishness and consumed by their own weakness. We ultimately decide who we allow to control our lives and satan is a thief and why we need instructions provided by the Bible to protect from spiritual burglary. Once satan enters our soul we become spiritual slaves that manifest as any of the sins the Ten Commandments warns about that start with coveting the freedom that only our Creator can provide. Christ transforms and renews our perspective to save us from ourselves. Wisdom and understanding through Christ are the only thing that serve us. Abuse doesn’t discriminate by gender and all physical manifestations begin in the spirit. A person doesn’t suddenly start physically abusing people; they simply expand on their abuse. It starts emotionally, spiritually, and verbally and intensifies to produce physical damage too. God has placed on my heart a desire to help expose this reality, insight, and the tools to defend ourselves. #SpiritualBoundaries#Wisdom#TheMoreYouKnow#StopTheInsanity
Feminism is a spiritual disease of the jezebel spirit and the psychology label to this condition is narcissism. This spirit is not male or female; it is gender neutral, opportunistic, and a parasite. Not surprisingly this spirit also is responsible for the LGBTQ movement surrounding trauma which activates a victim , mentality within this spirit. The typical behavior and language of feminist activists are revealed in this movie and it is aggressive, vulgar and abusive; obvious signs of spiritual distress. Abuse initiates in the spirit. This world commands and conditions us to distract our spiritual eyes producing spiritual blindness. Satan is the author of abuse and does not discriminate by gender or any shallow reason of the flesh. When you recognize and are able to discern “fruits” becomes obvious it is demonic. Reading the Bible combats so much trauma, abuse, and dysfunction by both genders and prevents us from becoming victims. The movie link follows for those that want to sharpen their understanding and help expose demons as the Bible teaches. You can either be driven by self; which is ultimately satan or what you are able to offer others and experience the spiritual “Laws of Reciprocity” which produce strength and confidence despite the affliction guaranteed in the world.
Galatians 5:19-25 New International Version (NIV)
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Between all the proclaiming Christians scrutinizing and slamming President Trump and Kanye West in online posts; an obvious reflection of the corruption of the church and spreading a false gospel is revealed. I’ve never witnessed such obvious contempt for righteousness; spiritual blindness, attacks, and hypocrisy promoting faith on a sliding scale, eliminating redemption, transformation, mercy, grace, and the power of Jesus . It sets a very distorted example to those unfamiliar with Christ, with implications the fabric of restoration, transformation,grace, and mercy as mere fabrications. It can be exhausting being an empath with energy sensitivity; it inspires turning to God’s Word and writing as therapy. Hiding my head in scripture has become my normal and is a cultural sin in the “can’t win culture”. How dare anybody be different and claim to understand the heart of Christ! (sarcasm) It reminds me of exactly what Jesus encountered at the cross; so would be consistent with prophesy and spiritual awakening. Impossible? According to scripture, nothing is impossible when it concerns Christ and I happen to have first hand knowledge with what has seemed impossible and unimaginable. Projection creates assumptions by accusers that presume the type of devotion and relationship with Christ being displayed must be pretense or acting; given a lack of experience that differs from their reality. Yes, some of us honestly hide our heads in scripture and prayer almost 24/7, especially confronted by struggle; which happens often living with a chronic illness. How could we not? I have simply learned my inability to trust myself while being human and life is so much better when relying on truth and the Bible. I mean, I’ve lived over 26 years at odds with my flesh; which naturally produces being at odds with the culture too, being forced to focus on the spiritual. Those of little faith have the audacity to minimize and deny my reality? How else would I have survived all the loss that has accompanied my journey being physically compromised for as long as I have? How else would I have overcome walking closely to the valley of death over half of my life? It can be so frustrating dealing with those that don’t seem to understand the dynamics of devotion that is beyond yourself; leading to assumptions and blame thrown by non-believers and Christians “in name only” alike. According to scripture and divine intent, Christians should appear different from non-believers, however, culture and demons have conditioned and poisoned minds into a religion of mediocrity or laws. The devil keeps pushing society farther and farther away from truth; using shame and insecurity as weapons of choice. When I encounter things I know in my heart to be wrong, I instinctively run to the cross and God’s word, out of absolute necessity and habit when living a physical battle that involves rescue by spiritual and supernatural means of Christ. Scripture becomes a natural reflex where the Bible is a refuge; providing peace during times of darkness and confusion. I am genuinely aware I desperately need God. So I recently started documenting a list of all the scripture that applies to the most common violations encountered online recently; pointing to the evidence of demonic infiltration in society. If it weren’t for scripture I would probably go insane; which might explain the increased episodes of insanity that result from the lack of Bible time investment for many. Spiritual abuse and blindness is habitually trending on social media outlets to the spiritually inclined and ironically even sometimes in comments regarding posts of scripture that exemplify the contradiction. #ChristianShaming
1 Corinthians 1:27 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;
Zechariah 8:6 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 6 Thus says the Lord of hosts: Even though it seems impossible to the remnant of this people in these days, should it also seem impossible to me, says the Lord of hosts?
Romans 1:21 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 21 for though they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their senseless minds were darkened.
Luke 5:31-32 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 31 Jesus answered, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; 32 I have come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance.”
Galatians 5:19-25 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, 21 envy,[a] drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. The Fruit of the Spirit 22 By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit.
James 3:17 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy.
1 Corinthians 4:6 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 6 I have applied all this to Apollos and myself for your benefit, brothers and sisters,[a] so that you may learn through us the meaning of the saying, “Nothing beyond what is written,” so that none of you will be puffed up in favor of one against another.
Romans 12:3 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
Ephesians 4:29 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up,[a] as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.
There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community." - Proverbs 6:16-19
Finally, I find it ridiculous when people use the term self righteous, because there is no such thing;it is an oxymoron. It is an obvious sign that the person making the statement has been deceived using understanding of the flesh. This observation doesn’t make me judgemental, but rather discerning of “fruits”. If a person displays righteous behavior, it is a “fruit” of obedience and focus on the Holy Spirit, because righteousness cannot be produced from selfishness or absence from Christ. So tired of the cultural brainwashing and lies that motivate others to perceive everything as a competition; which defies the teaching of Christ. If I were in a competition, it would probably be something like Dancing with the Stars. 😉 I’m different, we’re all different. I am privy to things that no other person has experienced; including supernatural observance’ while dealing with particular circumstances and gifts obtained through suffering. Others will have their own profound encounters with lessons, because we were created as a body of individuals. The world doesn’t need millions of people that provide the same service or gifts; it would rob us of our value. Furthermore, it is a complete violation of spiritual boundaries, referred to as coveting in the Bible. Shaming another person for something you don’t possess is selfish too. Just because others appear more diligent does not mean they perceive themselves better, however, it is a tool of success and should indicate the exact opposite. Newsflash….. living with a chronic illness involves a requirement of consistently trying harder and perseverance. If I was already righteous in my own mind, I wouldn’t even spend effort seeking scripture and growth? Perception can be deception and the Bible describes how we develop a kingdom mindset as transformation. Confidence in Christ only produces a threat to those focused on things of the world. #ResistSatan #ChristianShaming People can be so double minded. Would they accuse a minister of being self-righteous? Probably just the opposite and point out their inadequacy? It’s a no win culture war and it needs to stop! Focus on Christ and your part in His plan should be our motive, instead of where the Bible instructs we have no business. Scripture warns that comparison is a thief and satan is the thief, so when you compare you are serving satan. Nobody can know Christ without investing time and energy. To assume knowing scripture would reflect superiority is irrational and foolish. I realize though that targets of scrutiny are in good company because they hated Jesus first and scripture warns of this happening.
By design I have always been an all or nothing individual and I am all in for Christ. If that makes me extreme then it affirms my diligence, because I never want to be a lukewarm Christian or lukewarm anything for that matter. Life is so ironic that being an actual Christian is extreme living. There is so much double mindedness and resentment thrown at those who thrive because of Christ; as if it is even possible without Christ? I sure don’t know how, but then I am only able to understand what I have encountered. Mediocrity is celebrated, while success is punished and coveted by the worldly standard. Transformation and conquering the devil is now popularly known as self righteous by those of little faith who believe a lie; that a life dependent on Christ is unattainable. I literally live and breathe Christ’ word and strength and will not be shamed into censoring my whole life experience. This type of faith requires a great deal of time spent suffering and affliction. You discover more value using time when living with limitations because time is a commodity that can’t be wasted. #GoBigOrGoDown #Winning #EmpathsFeelSoMisunderstood #ChristianShaming #BlessedAreThePureInHeart #ChooseFaith
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17
In typical fashion Christ always uses the challenging moments for His good and inspires writing. So it is now obvious to viewers when I feel attacked. 😉 There is an abundance of relevant scripture that is applicable to life and especially the cyber influence that is happening.
I’m certainly not someone who likes to share information like dirty laundry, however, I also realize that revealing truth and exposing and shining light to situations is necessary for obtaining Christ’s intervention and healing. I do not take accusations of labeling anyone lightly either. I have done much research on the situation and topic of narcissism; also spent much time in prayer and scripture and been guided to the realization by God. In complete transparency I started documenting the contact of a period of 4 months that lead me to the conclusion of my mother’s mental status; after I had shared a sermon from David Platt that I really appreciated which set the demonic rantings of my mother off. I continue to document as necessary in this battle against darkness. In the following documentation of the limited contact, she is referenced as B and I as SA. Anyway she is so double minded in her messages it is almost scary. I am all these horrible things and yet she demands I be in her life? Messed up! It took me about 45 years to have the truth revealed in a divine matter after a facebook friend had posted the post that described the familiar behavior of my mother and lead me on an almost obsessive effort of researching psychology and narcissism.
Genesis 50:20New Living Translation (NLT) 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
April 11, 2017 #CovertNarcissist
SA: This pastor is the real deal!
B: I found him very confusing. I don’t like the way he preaches. He is very discursive to me.
SA: He is wonderful and speaks the Holy Spirit. If you can’t understand Him you apparently do not recognize the Holy Spirit? What he says is truth and real; I’ve experienced everything he talks of. Will be praying that Satan takes your blinders off!
B: Do you know what discursive means? (patronizing)
SA:philosophy : marked by a method of resolving complex expressions into simpler or more basic ones : marked by analytical reasoning. ( You are not analytical.) b : proceeding coherently from topic to topic
B: The definition I know is jumps around. Doesn’t stick to what he is talking about. #CognitiveDistortions ( I can’t help but find the irony of her statement “The definition I know.” I used the dictionary which is the ultimate source of understanding of words! SMH )
SA: His whole message is based on the fact that Christ was radical and people are selfish and soften Christ because they are deceived.
B: I do use logical reasoning
SA:: of or relating to discourse discursive practices this is from the dictionary but because of your ADD or whatever you miss a whole lot of the big picture. You either refuse or Satan blinds you to many factors. OK, then logically you should know that satan will use any means to confuse and destroy your understanding of truth.
B: My definition was from the Webster Dictionary, but not word for word.
SA: There is nothing logical about your house and the way you live. Proof that satan separates people from Christ pretty easily. It takes diligence and a fight to the finish to pursue Christ. Christianity is not easy and in this world is actually a burden because you don’t conform to people or compare. People are not a standard. God is the only standard.
B: I do think logically, because you have to to be a good nurse. Just because I don’t care for his style, doesn’t mean the BS you are saying about me. You are being judge mental and not being truthful.
SA: It’s why the Bible informs us we must guard our heart because Satan is a thief.
B: Forget it. I’m not going to argue with you. You are always right. #projection
SA: I’m not being judgmental at all, I’m telling facts from the Bible and you allow the world to control your life. No, God is ALWAYS RIGHT! I just choose to only follow Him and His Word. No argument here. You can choose to use it to justify your understanding but will be led astray. It is your choice to make. Humans are all very flawed; especially when pride (satan) leads them and they will refuse any correction (Biblical correction). Goodnight, I’m praying God will reveal himself to you in this situation. If I am lying and it is all BS than explain logically how your house and life is logical and right? You are using your judgement logically to judge that I am correct, so that is ironic don’t ya think? Also proves you are logical and know you are wrong. So you use selective reasoning to fit your own needs and desires. ( Here comes the #triangulation and #gaslighting!)
B: I am sorry, but I don’t see God shinning through your life. WWJD? He definitely would not treat people the way you do. Why is it that so many people that I know tell me that they can’t stand the way that you act. “Stephanie is SO judgmental! She acts like she is God.” #FlyingMonkeys We are supposed to be like Jesus. People will see his light through the way we live and the way we act. It is very hard to see any light coming from your heart people see is judgement from you, and YOU are the one who can’t stand constructive criticism. If I ever try to show you that you are wrong, and to tell you to reread what you have sent me, and try to apply it to yourself, you won’t listen, and then claim that it is me that is wrong, and say that I have Satan ruling me or that I have too much pride? That is total BS. That is judging me, pretending or thinking that you are GOD. That is being self righteous. Jesus did preach, but he never put a person down the way you do. That is where your communication skills suck! Your approach is all wrong! No one wants to listen to a person who acts like they are God. No one. You will never help lead a person to Christ. They won’t want to listen, and I am very tired of listening to you, when you can’t open your heart enough to listen to the truth about you. I do believe that I will go to heaven, because I know where my heart is. I have God in my life, and that is why I accidentally received the fruits that I have. I say accidentally have the fruits of the spirit, because I never deliberately set out to try to get any of them. They were given to me by God, because I have him in my heart, and they are a gift from God. You can’t try to work to get them. That’s why they are called Fruits of the Spirit. Fruits from God. People who don’t really believe in God, or do his work, don’t receive these gifts. Please give me a break! You don’t like it when Dawn belittles Dave in front of family, and I don’t like it when you belittle me the same way. Call it what you want, but that is being disrespectful to your elders. #CognitiveDistortions Everyone isn’t perfect, but I don’t constantly point out your imperfections, or tell you how to live your life. You might not think that your sister or brother have God in their heart the way they should, and maybe they could do better, but I see how God does reward both of them when they do honor God. I can see how gifts to them are sent from God. You receive many gifts too. Just let up on us. Who do you think raised me? Quit being a stubborn Norwegian! ( More irony…..I wasn’t trying to lead her to Christ because she already claims she is a Christian. #Accountability I was correcting her and trying to have a conversation like normal relationships. She doesn’t constantly point out my imperfections? LOL This conversation says the complete opposite! #Denial It’s also crazy how she pulls other people out of her ass into the conversation? SMH )
April 12, 2017
SA: When God defines you, you aren’t upset. Ego is satan. I respect God so much i obey him.
B: I asked you to please stop with the BS. You mean when Stephanie defines me, and has no room to judge me, I get upset, because that is what we are NOT supposed to do as it says in the Bible. I don’t have an ego. Don’t give me this BS about Satan. You are to respect your parents, and by your text to me, that is not respect. Don’t give me this BS that you are worried about me that I’m not going to heaven. That is a judgement you are making. I know where I am going because of my belief. You are acting as if you are playing God, so everything you speak is God’s words. Your mind is very warped, and I have prayed the you could finally see where you are wrong. I have never slandered you. I can have an opinion about a preacher, and because I don’t care for his style, that makes me satanic? You are wrong! Again you are judging me. You must be having a nervous breakdown. You twist things that I text, and when it is an opinion, you say it is a lie. That is wrong! You also told me before that I really had Love down. Now you say I don’t. Talk about bipolar. You know how you say you teach people how to treat you? Well
SA: Once again you fail to recognize the whole picture. Fruits without works are dead! I am not God, never claimed to be or be right. You all apparently use your judgmental selves to verify that what I preach is Gods truth. I am very open to Gods correction, not a flawed human beings opinion. If anybody is talking about me as you claim then that in itself is a bad fruit! I recognize truth! If you think that I somehow have lived the life I have lived because of my perfection, it is ridiculous and impossible. If you understood and knew your Bible you would recognize how wrong you are. I will not argue with fools who rely on their own understanding. Christianity is not a destination; it is a lot of work! We are commanded to suffer and bare our cross like Christ did. As far as infatuation; I looked it up and it is not a good fruit bearing quality;it is foolishness! Definition of infatuate infatuated; infatuating transitive verb 1: to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment 2: to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration When you meet God I guarantee you will be offended! Your spirit is very evil and all you care about is being right and slandering me! You have no idea how you are toxic to my spirit. Quit viewing me through your warped perception. Go ahead and use some actual scripture as to how I am violating Gods laws? I’m not! I live for Him and Him only! Because He Lives in me! Fact! You live for yourself enjoyment and are so worldly. You wouldn’t recognize satan if he walked up to you because your house is proof; not my opinion! Please defend your choices in life by using the only truth and that is Gods word. You do not decide what is truth, God does. I feel very confident in my relationship with Christ and that should actually be a good thing considering how ill I am and how God could take me any day. You are just delusional in thinking that you will die before you have a chance to prepare. Christianity is about preparation,learning, and transformation. I know I am rare to spend the amount of time in Gods word but it isn’t a competition. The Bible explains that! Truth and speaking the truth about Christ is not putting people down unless they have a conscience and recognize Gods truth in their failing. We are all flawed; it’s just that some people intentionally work on doing the right thing by Gods standard; not mans, which is controlled by satan. We are commanded to deny our earthy desires and pick up the burden of following Christ. It is a war! Hence you have to wear Gods armor, not try and fit in. Blessings aren’t materialism either! Blessings are spiritual; self control, long suffering, and yes I am blessed because I am free from the slavery of the world that enslaves you. Your house is proof of enslavement. Your attitude is pride and is not a blessing. You need to learn humility not insecurity; there is a difference and one is from God and insecurity happens when you listen to satan. Christ has NEVER been popular! He was radical!
B: I never said that what you say is in the Bible was not the truth. You are a very disrespectful person. Kathy and Steve couldn’t believe how you treat me and talk down to me. When you say that I am evil and of Satan, that doesn’t come from the Bible. That is in your opinion, and not of the Bible.
SA: No it is in your spirit and it’s funny that you mention it about Kathi because she told me about the audacity of your meddling in her relationship. She forwarded your texts and I was like? Are you demon possessed? I have a spiritual gift discerning spirits and recently yours has been evil and is making me sicker. You are oppressive and weak. Kathi also admitted because of her ADD that she missed some things you said and did not agree with them. Either way we don’t matter; only Gods truth and word. Satan uses every opportunity to deceive; so continue to not listen or care. I literally manifest physical ailments from your spirit, whether you agree or not. If you were to live in my body you would experience the hell your words are to my spirit. They are not life giving. Truth is life giving! I only care to always be truthful and share that truth, your tension enters my spirit and I currently feel it. I have felt like I just watched the Wizard of Oz. I just took my temperature and it is 103.1, thanks!
SA: Scripture is not bs and you apparently don’t know what slander is? You used to have loving fruits but you are either possessed by a demon or split personality. My honest observation does not equate to nervous breakdown, not even rational and that is pretty scary. I don’t make the rules, just follow them. You’ve made it pretty clear you have comprehension issues and clearly unable to hear Gods voice. You do not know your bible because there is plenty of evidence about pagan activities. While you are playing games I am studying it and in constant fellowship with God. You should try it, a suggestion and not judgment. You need to reread you’re last message to me and if you think it sounds like good fruits, let alone rational you need some serious help!
B: That is being disrespectful. You said that infatuation was lust. That is not true. And after looking up the meaning, I guess that it was the wrong word to use about My feelings for Phil. I wasn’t acting silly or stupid. You have this thing that you think that your thoughts are the Bible. I believe that you are blinded by Satan and that is why you act the way you do and can’t take constructive criticism. I never slandered you. Your brain must be screwed up and you can’t think right because of your lesions. Going at me like this isn’t going to do either of us any good. All I said is that you don’t have a light shinning from your heart. You show bitterness. A real Christian has that glow of love about them, causing some people to be like them. I would never want to be like you, because you don’t show a spirit of love. I know that you are thankful, but you never say thank you mom for buying this or that for me. In my opinion, you act like Annette and Matthew. You are causing yourself to be very sick. Not me. You are sick because he is in you, and you can’t see that. I prayed that you would stop being so stubborn and see where you are wrong. But you are so blind and remind me of Preston. When people see how you are so judgmental people think that you are such a hypocrite. You act very mad and take it out on the wrong people. I just asked you to let up. If you won’t listen to what I have go say, I don’t need to listen to an insolent child. You just have to always be right even when you are wrong in your thinking. So please stop this kind of text. I don’t need it. You are getting yourself upset. There is nothing to be upset about if you weren’t so bitter. The words you say about me are your opinion. Not from the Bible. Grow up and be quiet.
SA: You are so blinded by Satan. My words are from Christ because those are the words I use! I’m done! The Bible also is clear about loving Him more than family and I feel that. You don’t even use the Bible, just your warped emotions and words. You married a pedophile so your judgment is really bad! I will block your lies on facebook! If you keep up your destructive, deceptive thoughts and lies! Not opinion; Bible tells me so! Again you can justify your lies with scripture anytime and prove me wrong!
B: I won’t be blamed at you getting mad. Why don’t you mind your own business and worry only about your own soul. What you just wrote is your opinion and not of the Bible. You are really acting childish.
SA: I am not called by Christ to mind my own business. I’m called to expose evil! Again in the Bible! You Jesus hater! I am also not bitter; that is an opinion. You don’t know my heart and you can’t even recognize truth, YOUR LOSS. Fools despise correction! Biblical! I know my Bible and I know Christ, I know when someone serves themselves; too bad you don’t understand how spiritual energy works. I wish I could block your satanic energy but satan doesn’t care and he attacks regardless. I have no desire to live in the flesh like you. You continually are incapable of using the truth of Gods word to support your OPINION! All I use is scripture and truth. I have a spirit that feels evil; you don’t no biggy! But just because you don’t have a particular gift doesn’t make it any less truth. You are the bitter one who refuses to acknowledge your need for Christ! You also don’t understand what true Love is and live your fraudulent love. Christmas is pagan; it is not biblical! Not my opinion, fact! Anything not in the Bible is pagan! You can take all the Biblical tests all you want and ace them but until you obey them and actually practice them it is disobedience to God. I dare you to actually only respond in truth and scripture. Humans are deceitful God is the only One who can be trusted; His word alone. Humans are flawed and need God for everything. BTW Psychology won’t get anyone into heaven. I’m not concerned with concepts of mans opinion; all I care about is Gods law and standard. Gods truth should be the priority in everyone’s life.
Leviticus 10:10New Living Translation (NLT) 10 You must distinguish between what is sacred and what is common, between what is ceremonially unclean and what is clean.
April 13, 2017
B: What is BTW Psychology? Did God direct you to call your mother a Jesus Hater? By doing that is that being respectful to your parents, like it teaches in the Bible? I would have never talked to my parents like that. Kathy is really rubbing off on you. She was very disrespectful and a child from hell. I wouldn’t be proud of that. (“The Bible teaches to Honor your parents; not respect. Apparently my mother doesn’t understand the difference or using her typical strategy of witchcraft ? #GasLighting Also pulling in other people in an act of comparison to claim superiority, which the Bible warns as wrong!” )
B: You really are sick. The BS, is not referring to the Bible. The BS is all the irrational things that you are saying about me. You have been sending me things that don’t apply to me. That is why I wanted you to re listen to what you sent me, because it applied to you, and not me. Then you started bashing me. Like I said before, if you don’t have anything good to say, then don’t say anything. Calling me names is disrespect. Not the truth. It is only your opinion. I’m not ashamed of anything I sent to you. #projection
SA: I reread it, I didn’t call you any names. What name? The only thing irrational is your denial and alternative reality!
B: No, you didn’t call me any names, but you did talk down to me. Tell me about your fruits. I have not slandered you. That is a lie. I have spoken false things about you that have ruined your reputation. A lie. Telling me I am possessed by a demon? False opinion. Downgraded me by saying I have a split personality. That is not a fact. That is your uneducated opinion. Remember, you didn’t do well in psychology twice, and didn’t even try to do better, by talking to your teacher or getting a free tutor. Who takes a class twice and doesn’t learn anything from their mistakes? Telling me I don’t have comprehension. Not true. Maybe at one time in the past. If I don’t know my bible, then why do I do so well on bible quizzes? Christmas is not pagan. I celebrate Christ’s birth. You choose not to. I try to lovingly correct you, you can’t take any correction, because you think you are always right. I see no fruits from what you texted me. I’ve had way to much patience with you. Remember how you told me that you become who you hang out with. You are hanging out with Kathy and becoming more like her. Is that who you want to be? ( “No, I just refuse correction from an obviously deceived individual. I know my Bible and can provide plenty of evidence that Christmas is pagan. I will follow with a link to a playlist on youtube I created. Unlike my mother I am objective and evidence based.” )
SA: Lol, you don’t ever use Gods word ever. I gladly take God’s correction!
B: Another judgmental lie. You are really turning into a liar. You are a very unappreciative daughter too. Never thank me for what I do for you. #Gaslighting
SA: That sure sounds like a judgement! Lol Glad I use Gods standard to judge instead of my limited understanding. You have a selective perception because of your add and miss a lot on a very deep level. Of course you didn’t recognize greg as a pedophile and bad person because you don’t recognize fruits and it makes you a poor judge!
B: And please quit labeling me and using the word ADD.
SA: Yes, cause having to accept reality might interfere with your denial? #GasLighting #Deflection (” I would like to add she has been diagnosed with ADD and been on medication for it.” )
B: All I said is BS. You hang around a person with the worst mouth I have ever known. You are judging again. No wonder Kathy can’t stay married or in a relationship. She is one big bipolar roller coaster. She has a very dark side, and you must be blinded by Satan. When you turn to a person like that, and turn away from the person who birthed you, I see Satan invading your spirit. She will bring you down. Anyone who is pissed off, happy, pissed off, happy, is on an emotional roller coaster. I didn’t ask about her relationship. She kept asking me to call her. Then she shouldn’t keep calling me for advice. That trip cost me $1000 says AAA with wear and tear on my vehicle. I didn’t plan on staying inside for 6 days. I hope that you enjoyed yourself, because I didn’t staying in a morgue. Darkness, and no light. She doesn’t have eye problems. I asked. It is just her style. Black, skeletons, and evil looking characters, plus a mouth from hell. She is always mad? at something. Her head in screwed up because of drugs. Who in their right mind wouldn’t visit a place before they moved? (“Her cousin Kathi lives 10 hours away from me so I’m not sure how it is possible to hang around her? I have spoken to her on occasion but my mother would have no idea how I spend my time or how often I speak with her.” )
SA: Omg, her clean dark house doesn’t go against God like yours does. And you married a pedophile. You live in your own vile hell oblivious because of legal drugs that destroyed your brain. You are blind to fruits and live in the flesh!
B: I didn’t know he was one, or I never would have married him. I am not blind to fruits or live in the flesh. Kathy is in my opinion.
SA: Truth hurts when you are on the wrong side of it! I am no longer a child; I answer only to Christ and you don’t make the rules! You don’t know what respect is! I live it! You have none and crap all over yourself and everyone! You are so ungrateful and deceptive; not sure if that is intentional or you are just mentally ill and filled by satan? You love controlling others just like satan. You are the insolent child. You give Christ no respect; everything you do is for your own pride and ego. When you serve Christ there are no expectations in life and you are filled with satisfaction; you don’t go seeking it in all the wrong material things. Quit feeling sorry for yourself like a victim. You have never understood who it is to know your identity in Christ and obsess with constantly competing in life. When you know the truth about who you are you don’t care what anybody else thinks but the one and only Creator. You sure aren’t prepared for how hard it is going to get; we are in the end times and it is going to get ugly! I have only had your best interests at heart! I hate that your life is so ugly and you are weak. You hide and wear masks and use money to try and control and gain power; that is evil! You have selective memories just like your brother, so you too are either a deliberate liar or possibly have beginning stages of dementia/alzheimer’s. I have no intention to force you to try and change but don’t go around being a fraud!
SA: You claimed I was bipolar, having a nervous breakdown, slander and lies! You have shown your lack of understanding of scripture by the way you twist and take it out of context. Kathi has a true heart for God and is humble. She is always honest and seeking improvement, not denial like you. Kathi has been living Christ’ strength and doesn’t constantly put others down like you. I love Kathi, she is real. You obviously hate yourself the way you behave. You lack self control, it is either choice or mental illness.
B:You are the one putting down others. Not me. I am defending myself against lies. Yes, I sometimes lack self control, but not when it comes to sex. You actually lack self control, because you just can’t stop, when I have asked you stop
SA: You are the one who can’t control your tongue, your living environment, what you put in your body, etc. Self control involves every aspect of life including time. I’m done with your pride. Until you focus on your own flaws and admit to God letting him have control you will remain enslaved and guilty.
B: If you were at peace with yourself, you wouldn’t text what you do. Everything was not sent from God, unless you are delusional and think that you are God. No more. I can’t stand mentally ill people. Leave me alone!
SA: LOL Everything I sent was Biblical and sent by God! What has been a lie? If you actually took the time to view them you might, well no you wouldn’t ! You are blinded by satan, belligerent and filled with anger and hate! You bring yourself down by your actions! Still haven’t provided any Biblical evidence! I’m at peace, God is good and I know He has my back! I have viewed all those sermons many times; they are great and speak the truth of God!
B: I have no idea who this was meant to be sent to, but it couldn’t possibly be for me. I think that you should read what you send, and apply it to your life. You are the liar, and say things about me that aren’t true. I have no problem with the Bible. I just have a problem with you. Quit wasting my time. You refuse to listen to logic and hang around with people that will ruin your life. I don’t care for any more of your correspondence. I will not tolerate your insolence. You show no fruits in a text like this to your elder. Do you really think that God would approve of your text? You don’t know what honor means. I no longer want to have anything to do with a mentally ill person. You are just like Kathy. Mentally ill people will pull me down. You are not uplifting. Please stop sending anymore of your opinionated texts. You don’t know what you are talking about. That is very clear. Like I said, I will no longer take your insolence. Until you can say some nice, that is true, stop communicating with me. I can’t stand to be around mentally ill people like you and Kathy. I don’t wish to be around people like you. You suck the life out of me. You pull me down with your negative attitude. #Projection #CognitiveDistortion #GasLighting
SA: THY WILL BE DONE Still haven’t explained what was a lie and what was in violation of Gods law because it isn’t there. Go ahead and keep judging me based on your flawed opinion, I don’t care! The God I serve knows the truth and approves of my messages!
B: The lie is that I’m not belligerent, and filled with anger and hate. I don’t need to defend myself. God knows me and my heart. Quit judging me and pretending you are God.
Luke 18:29-30New Living Translation (NLT) 29 “Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God, 30 will be repaid many times over in this life, and will have eternal life in the world to come.”
Her own communication is evidence of her accusations are complete projection and show her guilt and lies. So after the previous communication insisting my mother wanted nothing more to do with mentally ill people and my response: “Thy Will Be Done” which became the beginning of #NoContact, again receive the following message 12 days later, which is termed as #Hoovering in psychology.
April 26, 2017
B: Are you alright? You haven’t been posting anything. I haven’t heard from you either. What is up?
SA: I am fine! What is up? Are you kidding me? Would you like me to refresh your memory by the documentation of your insanity? Worry about your own mental health issues. I with the help of God have mine covered for almost 24 years now! I do not play mind games or associate with those that will endanger my soul! You are text book ADHD!
B: Insanity? Please refresh. Please stop labeling me. Is that you judging me again? Can’t you ever be kind? I used to think that you were good at judging people’s character, but not anymore. When I give you back the advice you give me, you can’t take it. Hanging around people will rub off on you, and it has.
SA: That is me judging you according to Gods principle! God is a wonderful judge of character! I am enjoying my peace! Truth is kind! If you keep this up I will unfriend and block you I promise!
B: Can’t you just be nice? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you? You really sound like you have the love and peace if God in your heart.
A little over a month later I receive ANOTHER random and confusing message. First implying she is a part of “fruits” followed by listing actual “fruits”, so not sure of her understanding, however, it is not congruent, but she also previously claimed that “fruits” were received by accident; like entitled gifts from God for believing? SMH People aren’t fruits! Talk about crazy!
June 7,2017 #Hoovering
B: You know who raised me, and I was brought up in the church since I was a baby. Are you saying that my parents raised bad fruit? Are you saying that you, Dave, and Jennifer are bad fruit? I possess all 9 fruits in different degrees. 1.Love 2.Joy 3.Peace 4.Long suffering 5.Kindness 6.Goodness 7.Faithfulness 8.Gentleness 9.Self control. I have always put my children first when it came to clothes, food, and necessities of life. I bought the house you are living in and paid the appraised price for it when the housing market was bad, and houses were selling way below the appraisal price. Where would you be living if I hadn’t given you a place to live? I sacrificed much so that you could have the things that you wanted. I don’t think that you suffered for much. I put my job in jeopardy taking off time from work and being with you when you needed me. I also jeopardized my education, and you came first, when I took a month off from school to be with you. It is a miracle that I wasn’t dropped from the nursing program, but I had a B average whether I was in class, or did it on my own.
SA: You are psychotic! I’m done! Black is white and white is black in your fantasy world. 1. Gentleness is a humble non-threatening demeanor that derives from a position of authority (Gods authority), and is useful in calming another’ anger. Gentleness is not a quality that is weak and passive! #NOT 2. Self-control is to RESTRAIN one’s emotions,actions, and desires and to be in harmony with God. Self-control is doing God’s will (what the Bible says) not living for one’s self! #NOT 3. Love is not based on emotions or feelings. It is the decision to be committed to the well being of others WITHOUT ANY CONDITIONS OR CIRCUMSTANCES! #NOT You care more about your hurt ego than my peace and health! Everything you do is conditional; you are a bully and oppressive! 4. Long suffering is in regards to Christ; it is putting Christ first no matter the persecution and assaults from others. You give your best for Christ, not man’s approval or persecution. It has nothing to do with suffering because you sin and hurt yourself. Your house is evidence of gluttony,selfishness,lack of control, and greed. Those are all bad fruits! You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. You failed your parents, not the other way around; because Love doesn’t seek it’s own way. You prove time and time again how you have no understanding of applying the Bible and connection to Christ. You are clueless! Every time you respond you just prove how warped and evil your mind is! TRUTH You are very idle and weak. This is not my opinion; this is based on the fruits and evidence apparent in your life. You are deceived and enslaved by satan; which until you break free and you show change in your heart and life I want nothing to do with you. You can just pretend the house is like the farm and just ignore it like you did there. At least you have a caretaker who works for Christ and respects the integrity of the gift from your father and my wonderful grandpa who I will always adore! I constantly add value to whatever God provides, not destroy and devalue things like satan and you! You don’t help weak people with apathy and making things easy! I’ve been REALLY patient; 44 years waiting for you to get your act together and start living for Christ, instead of your satanic self! You are experiencing your own energy CONGRATULATIONS! Quit harassing me!
B: Nothing I do is conditional. I don’t know what you are talking about. When it comes to your temper, you have no self control when it comes to you getting mad and yelling at me. I don’t call that self control. What is wrong with you? You act like you are under a wicked spell. You are always so bitter. Where is the light inside your heart? All I see is darkness.
SA: All you see is darkness because you are blind to Gods light! That’s what happens when you become enslaved by satan. I have plenty of control and why I am telling you to leave me alone. You are delusional and I don’t argue or associate with the mentally ill.
1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
#Hoovering June 16, 2017
B: I went with Jen, the boys, her friend and son today to their Sun Prairie Pool. Only went for an hour and a half, but it was a great way to refresh on a hot day. Dave took his kids to Magic Waters. He said that lockers are $8, $10, & $12 per day for rental. That’s ridiculous! No free locker passes this year, but passes to the pool and I believe a free drink there.
Over two months no contact and a message with bullying arrives sending my immune system into fight/flight attack. As a result developing horrible headaches due to a new brain lesion around the pineal gland. Apparently my siblings aka flying monkeys communicated the information I had been sharing about my suspicions of her being a covert narcissist.
August 20, 2017 #FlyingMonkey
SA: Sorry about all these sermons but they are so filled with so much truth about spirituality and faith. I suspect you need to diversify your teaching. (My brothers response sure reveals how confident someone can be in their deception and dysfunction.”) It follows:
Brother: I watched it. I can apply it. Not sure why you felt the need to share it, but that’s ok, I received it and thought it was a pretty good sermon. So my question for you is. Do you really think mom is filled with an evil spirit? How about me? I think we all fall short and make mistakes and can be prideful at times and yes we all need to worship the Lord in everything we do. My suggestion to you is if you truly feel that Mom is manipulating and always wanting to have control and is evil, then leave, flea the devil don’t let the devil have a foothold. You’ve done that by breaking contact with her and not letting her get you upset, but my suggestion would be get out of the house you currently live in and she currently owns and experience some real freedom. Let the Lord provide for you the means to do this. You have so many Godly friends online, I’m sure someone would be willing to help you in any way they could. If not then I suggest you watch some sermons on forgiveness and seek what the Lord says about that and try to make nice with those that are currently providing for you. Either way we will continue to be praying for your health and job search. I will pray for the Lord’s leading in your life. Love, Dave
SA: Ask Christ why He wanted me to share it! I even commented when I sent it that you need to diversify your teachings because you have a shallow image of Christ. I’m glad you could apply it because I loved the teaching. Do you pray for all the disabled in their job search or just the ones you don’t know? SMH I am sick of your ASSumptions! It requires actually knowing what is going on in a persons life to know what their needs are! So glad Christ is able to handle it on His own! I wonder what other warped ideas about my life you have because you are not able to recognize the spirit of deception? Also I am doing exactly as God has instructed and you have no authority as a 3rd party to give me any of your non biblical advice. Please stop praying to Christ about me for YOUR will; that is witchcraft and why you are cursing me! I have complete freedom in Christ; might want to try it! Lastly, I have plenty of places I could be, however, as I mentioned God wants me where I am because I have a purpose that you fail to see. Its ignorance to make assumptions based on limited information and you sure do seem to do a lot of that lately! I most certainly have forgiven, forgiveness is easy and is why I have peace in my heart. Forgiveness is for ourselves and does not require contact. Praying for Christ leading in my life while He is so obviously carrying me is pretty out of touch!
August 29, 2017 #GasLighting #FlyingMonkeys
B: I am tired of your disrespect, lies, and being the Biggest religious hypocrite I know. I am not a narcissist, I have never tried to control your life since you have been of legal age. I am not a liar, Satanic, or evil. You act like you are entitled to live in my house. You haven’t paid me one cent, to live in MY HOUSE in well over 2 years. Probably closer to 3 years. I pay taxes, have paid for a new roof to cover your head, and paid for home maintenance. I bought that house so that you would have somewhere to live, and I paid the appraised value, and not the market price. Your grandparents are gone, so you are living in my house. Would you like to move out? Who has driven you to doctor appointments, hospitals, and the Mayo Clinic? Who has paid your water bill when you destroyed the pipes, because of your ignorance? Who paid for auto repairs when you couldn’t? Who pays for your AAA insurance every year? Who purchased your Magic Waters pass? Who has brought you or bought you food? Who has sacrificed all her vacation days to do things for you for most of her life?
B: This is your ultimatum. Either you start respecting me, and unblock me on FB, or you can find a new place to live by September 1st. I am giving you over 30 days notice. This is called tough love. I won’t be used by an insolent person. Either you treat me with love and respect, or you can get out of my house.
I am not responding; no contact means, no contact! I’d like to mention that September 1st is 3 days away, not 30. It shows her mental instability. Talk about bullying and childlike behavior! She is not a narcissist because she says she’s not? LOL, Just Wow, talk about confirming you are a narcissist! #Denial Notice how everything is about MONEY! CONTROL! DENIAL! Everything she lists is total lies or half truths; she lists gifts over my entire life. I have not borrowed any money from her since I lost my job and it is 2 years and 7 months that I have been unable to pay rent; due to the fact that I have had no substantial source of any income. I am living on savings and I am the one who has been maintaining her property; she doesn’t pay for lawn care, the ant treatments or the filter on the furnace unit; I provide those and time. Notice how everything is hers as if she is God! God didn’t provide her resource’? I didn’t even go to Magic Waters this year as my health didn’t allow for it, but it was supposedly a Christmas/Birthday gift. She subscribes to AAA and added me for leverage and control; I don’t know that I’ve ever even used the program? I’ll believe the taxes are paid when I investigate! We almost lost the house in 2007 because of severe delinquency. Fortunately I caught it when the notice was sent to the house and contacted my uncle who sought power of attorney and took care of the debt. She won me $2,400? No she bought $5 worth of raffle tickets and Christ honored my need! She had absolutely no control of me winning? She is the biggest delusional liar! She is loving? Love doesn’t demand it’s own way like she is doing! Because she paid for a few meals over my lifetime? Um wow, I’ve had it so good; how could I ever walk away? SMH I take impeccable care of the house that her father so generously provided when he passed. She certainly did not have to buy her brother’s half of the property! She really is clueless! Are you kidding me? Also if the market was down, wouldn’t it mean she got a better deal and a good thing? I don’t even understand the relevance of this information. I have done much research thanks be to God. She is such a lying evil person who has been making money off her daughter with a chronic illness, living in poverty! My previous 5 year rent investments translate to over $15,000. She owns 2 homes, 1/3 her grandparents farm, and boasts of $270,000 in the bank but wishing she had more property in March? What a greedy, satanic, lying individual! It is so easy to pick her comments apart; narcissists are so intellectually lazy! Who does she think is going to maintain the property when I’m gone? She doesn’t take care of anything! She hasn’t even had hot water for at least a few years because her house is so full of crap; in bondage! As for the pipes freezing; I requested her to come down and check to make sure I had turned the knob completely, which she neglected to do and had no other choice to pay because of my lack of income.
BA: Sorry, I meant October 1st. ( “Apparently it takes 2 days for her brain to function?” )
Notice her comment from June 7, 2017 “Nothing she does is conditional” I’d say being her facebook friend is a “condition” and allowing her to abuse me is a “condition” to live in HER HOUSE! The house that I have lived in since 1994 that was a gift from her parents and provided by God. Notice the importance she places of herself. This whole response from her is trying to deny my boundaries! Anybody else find the irony in that she is demanding me (the biggest hypocrite) to not avoid her? She can’t stand me and I bring her down but demands and tries to guilt me so she can have some more? That is warped! I don’t think she understands what a hypocrite is; not someone you want around? Also she might be a bigger fool than I ever imagined because removing me from the house not only will not keep her from paying the taxes, but in addition, she will then be forcing herself the additional costs of utilities/gas and all the other necessities that go with maintenance on a house? The house was due for a new roof and I had warned her about a leak upstairs when it poured so now it is for me and not for her own preservation and value of her property? Makes perfect sense; NOT! She is NUTS! Everything is about devaluing me; it doesn’t matter the worth I provide and that I take better care of the house she owns than she ever would. It doesn’t matter that I have suffered with a chronic illness for 26 years currently and after researching the past few years realizing, her perverted husband, who molested me, most likely contributed to my condition. If she is so tired of this then why does she refuse to leave me alone? Because it is all part of the narcissistic game! Either way, I wasn’t about to leave and knew she was bluffing but was also so ill, it wouldn’t be possible to even perform the task of moving. There was a legitimate reason I am disabled and been unable to work. #LackOfBoundaries #TraitsOfNarcissists #Guilt
Received some additional random texts approximately a month later. The nature of the illogical texts seem almost humorous. I am always a step ahead of her insanity. I purchased “Terro” granules and ant bait, in an attempt to be proactive because I don’t ignore problems like my mother has the habit of doing. I managed to improve a major ongoing ant problem of easily 20 years; thanks to the help of my friend who had worked in pest control and the grace of God. I still will not be responding to this so obvious predictable and out of touch hoovering attempt ! It suddenly became an immediate issue 5 months after the initial season @2am??????
B: Borax mixed with sugar, water and dish soap mixed in a spray bottle will kill ants.
B: Spray 50/50 white vinegar and water to get rid of ants, and spray lemon is another way. Cornmeal in the house gets rid of their nests.
During February 2018 I was forced to contact my mother about the bathroom sink handle breaking off ; which was probably close to at least 20 years old. I had shared a new faucet I had found online at Menards that I felt was practical and reasonably priced as a suggestion for an upgrade. She agreed to take on the task of picking it up and installing it. Admittedly my mother has quite a talent for many things; including plumbing. I can also admit it wasn’t an easy task, due to the small space involved in the bathroom, but after staying overnight for about a week, she manged to get most of the task finished. She claimed the drain still wasn’t complete or usable but had to leave and would return at an unknown time leaving a bucket of scattered parts and tools. After approximately a month of her not returning while brushing my teeth and washing my face in the basement sink, I decided to try and see if I could figure out the issue she referred to. I carefully turned the water on while watching below for any dripping but didn’t seem to observe any so resumed using the sink while watching closely for any water spillage. Fortunately, all seemed to be performing properly. When she had come to work on the faucet she delivered a box from my brother’s family with basic items; containing toothpaste, toilet paper, canned goods, and some snacks decorated with pretty valentine ribbons. I naturally documented my email response and further response’ from my sister in law. Apparently facebook is the only form of communication available to those who are relationship challenged?
February 17, 2018 My response: Thank you for thinking of me but I will be sending most of the items back. I guess when you think of me you think of brushing your teeth and wiping your butt? LOL I’m not a beggar who is in need of basic items. Do you really believe I am not wiping when I go to the bathroom or brushing my teeth? I don’t need family for these items. Did it ever occur to you that thinking of me could be a phone call or message? I do not understand why actual truth and communication is so hard for you to comprehend? It also saddens me that you attend church on a regular basis and yet foreign to how functional and loving relationships work. I do understand though because God continues to reveal the reality that He has called to my life. Sarcoidosis saved me from getting lost in the worldly culture. Praise the Lord! Thinking about someone requires knowing and understanding someone on a deeper level. God has called me to a higher standard of functional and Loving relationships of substance. If you actually knew what was going on in my life you would know the importance for holistic living and avoiding toxins in the process of seeking healing and restoration. I no longer even use regular toothpaste containing toxic/poison and use charcoal powder for brushing. “Wen” is what I intentionally allow on my hair. With Gods help and direction I strive for clean eating and alkalinity. I try to avoid most processed foods and have found fasting beneficial both physically and spiritually in my journey for healing. I’m not trying to seem ungrateful; it’s just my gratitude apparently lies in a much deeper place than you? God provides in many ways and doesn’t need your burnt offerings, because that is what this gesture seems like? I’m sorry my vision is much deeper than yours and why I have felt it best to avoid any contact with people who do not care to understand or know my truth; which is Love! My expectations are not any different than what I am willing to give. I live truth and authenticity. I refuse to conform to the world and unfortunately recognize when others do. I refuse to be silent and feel the need to tip toe and walk on egg shells around anyone;nobody should believe that is acceptable or righteous. Love doesn’t seek it’s own way and you clearly have a problem with my truth not matching yours. I have no ill feelings towards you and the family but refuse to go through the motions ever. I continue to pray for Gods Will in all our lives, whatever it may be. Glad He calls the shots in my world. I simply do not have any energy to waste going through the motions. Cute picture of the kids. It’s too bad that you can’t value truth as one of the best gifts in the world; even when you might not want to accept it. #IronSharpensIron Tell Matthew and Annette I do think of them, pray and miss them. Just wondering what Annette’s picture was about since I do not like making assumptions and pictures aren’t necessarily self explanatory? Lastly, second hand information is not always accurate, so it is best to avoid it (gossip) .
I, Dawn, am sorry that I have a functional sense of gift giving. I do not tend to give frivolous gifts to people. We were just trying to show some care and concern for you. The picture Annette drew is of her and Matthew. Did it ever occur to you that you are the one who has cut off connection with us by de-friending us on Facebook? How would you expect people to interpret such an act? Or the fact that you don’t call us. Communication and relationships are two-way. Has it ever occurred to you that you speak out of both sides of your mouth? People try to show concern for you, but you cut them off. YOU are the one who has cut off communication. Then you turn around and say, “But if you really cared about me then you would know that I don’t eat or use this.” Honestly, I’m not the least bit surprised by your email. In fact, because I had an idea of how you would probably respond, I hesitated at even taking the time for us to put it together for you. There are plenty of others whom we could have given a practical gift like that to who would be grateful- even if they couldn’t use all of it. Why do you have to turn everything into something negative? Even if there are things that you couldn’t use, you could still show appreciation and pass them on to others who might be able to use them- neighbors, friends, etc. I hope you will really stop and think about the fact that you are, at least partially, responsible for the strained relationships that you have with your family. We were only trying to reach out and show that we truly do care and do think about you. Dawn
My response I am, that is why I am returning it. You are clueless when it comes to how caring actually works! I see through your facade and that irritates you. That is correct relationships are a 2 way street based on truth! Something you hypocrites lack! Do you not think I am able to function? Clueless! Again……… It requires living a life of transparency. It’s simple cause/effect but then narcissists don’t ever take responsibility for anything. You had plenty of opportunities to show any concern. Less is More for me; not expecting any lavish or wordly gifts like you obviously think of naturally. Like I mentioned a phone call or email is plenty. I have every right to do as the Bible has instructed in Psalms to stay away from deceivers and liars and guard my heart. I practice what the Bible teaches, not just memorize and legalize; something foreign to you obviously. If you expected my reaction then why in Gods name would you continue to follow your own understanding and wishes. Why can you not respect that I have standards that revolve around Christ? You should too! That is what is so unbelievable! Get over yourselves and seek what God would have you do. BTW, facebook is for shallow relationships in case you hadn’t noticed. It is for the emotionally lazy!
In the typical conditioning process associated with having a narcissist for a parent, my brother and sister both ended up as codependent’s, which resulted in marrying narcissists. See the book “The human magnet syndrome” by Ross Rosenberg for further insight into this reality. I recently came to the realization that I was the scapegoat growing up and fortunately never got married as a result of the impact and journey with sarcoidosis. I have been healing my own self love deficit issues since the awareness of my psychological influence and history. I’ve never been so thankful for the way my health challenges directed my life and journey with Christ.
My mother had been preoccupied with sickness and when Easter arrived received the following texts.
B: Easter is a good time to repent for your sins. Happy Easter!
B: God is mad at you for treating your Mother, Father, Sister, and brother with no respect. It is wrong to be that way. It says in the Bible. You are not perfect, and I am not perfect.
B: Happy Easter ! Christ has risen from the dead! He died so we may live. He died for your and my sins. I pray that you will repent of all your sins. I know that you think you are sin free, but that is wrong. And I am calling you out on your sins. Just ask your neighbor. We are born again, but even born again people sin. It is just human nature. The way you treat your family is very wrong.
Notice how she always has to hijack others in her perceived battle; as if it is some power grab. Besides for the insanity that she has been divorced from my Dad since I was in kindergarten and there has been no communication between them; she again just throws out complete nonsense. She has no idea about my relationships with my siblings or Father; it doesn’t involve her. She loves to gossip and make statements for others despite the reality of situations. She even had to involve my neighbor whom she doesn’t know other than through facebook. Talk about delusions. Everything is projection and gaslighting and why I’ve learned the need of documentation when dealing with her. Her accusations of me cutting down other people when this conversation is proof and evidence that she is the only one that has pulled others into the conversation with insults. I have learned and chosen to be very intentional with my words and actions. I hate gossip and truly care about my actions and words upon others, because of my Love and loyalty to Christ. It is something foreign to a narcissist; they are one dimensional revolving around themselves.
My mother contacted me and invited me to attend a Norwegian Buffet that she had wanted to try that I had attended previously. She picked me up and we made the hour trip to the place with no conflict as I remained silent for the most part. Afterward was a different story. I can’t even remember the specifics of what I said that inspired her typical inappropriate remarks, just that it started with her usual insensitivity regarding my health. As if my sudden need to sit down and leave suddenly after eating because of feeling ill wasn’t enough to remind her of the severity of my health and chronic reality? She had said something that I responded truthfully, so therefor it was an attack on her naturally. She dropped me back at the house and the following day I sent her an email to help express my feelings of disgust that set in as a result of her constant reminders of her importance, my limited value and lack of appreciation. Writing is so much easier when dealing with toxic people; especially being an empath. March 7, 2019 You are selfish. You have a lot of material wealth, you should not feel you are owed. In fact, if you actually were living for Christ you would want to help others, including your own children, out of Love for Christ! Your father was selfless and gave MUCH, wanted little because He was filled with the Holy Spirit and you are the exact opposite. Tithing has nothing to do with church; it’s about being the church and helping those in need with whatever resource’s God provides wherever. Where does the approximately $4500 annually you owe Christ go? Obviously the tax on the house that shelters me could be included, if it was indeed a service to Christ and you didn’t expect payment. You are obviously blind to my need and filled with your lack of Love and service. It is ironic how you always use the excuse you bought the house you inherited and I have lived in the past 21 years to help me, but that is such a lie! First of all, you bought the 50% of the value from your brother for him and it was never a necessity. Secondly, it was about control, because everything you do has expectations and strings attached. The expectation is that I cannot be truthful and should worship you for doing what God expects is only right. Nothing says greed more than trying to take something from someone that doesn’t have it! Talk about evil! It is ironic but makes sense because if you don’t feel gratitude from God, you obviously can’t possess it to project it onto others. It’s also true that the people who have the least are the most generous. It is sad that you cling to what you have; it is the opposite of gratitude and generous. You live in sin because you live in bondage and can’t change in your own abilities; it requires letting go and allowing Christ to do the work. I fear for you greatly because your heart is not filled with the Holy Spirit; it is apparent you are deceived by satan; thinking you can’t repent and break free from the mistakes and soul ties you’ve made. It is a lie and I only want you free from that part of yourself ,so you will finally reap something worthwhile. Christ wants you, quit denying Him and you just might be amazed at the true freedom! It’s not about what mistakes you’ve made or what you have done. It’s about being a new creation in Christ and releasing the old garbage, that shouldn’t be part of life anymore. You never acknowledge when you hurt or offend others because you can’t feel anything but your own hurt. It’s like you have medical amnesia or don’t fully comprehend the many miracles I have been granted? I’m convinced the reason I’m still alive is because the Lord feels I am the only hope for our lost family! I’m not perfect, I am a product of choosing Christ’s will over myself. I can’t understand why you or anybody else would deny it? But then I learned the hard way. When we are together all you ever focus and talk about are impertinent and shallow things that I can’t relate to because I am purpose driven. It is really irritating. It’s like you don’t have a clue who I am and don’t even care either; probably because it would interfere with your fantasy world and denial? We are obviously like oil and water and it is because deep down our souls serve different things; mine serves Christ, while you serve your irrational mental perspective. You refuse to believe you need help and a Savior. I obviously know how desperately I need a Savior and strength to accomplish little to anything. How many times I’ve heard you boast about missing vacations to be with me in my time of need. Really? This statement reveals how twisted your priorities are; it implies that you wish you hadn’t chosen to be a loving parent. How do you think that makes me feel? How many vacations do you think I’ve taken? Vacations aren’t a human right, they are a privilege! Just like your brother you have a twisted idea that “vacations” add value to life. Newsflash….. they don’t, unless you are a heartless and broken person seeking pleasure, which is a bad fruit and makes you guilty of gluttony. Vacations are about not working, so being with me in my time of need was apparently work in your perception and disappointing. Time and time again you make it clear you do not enjoy me or life, so as a rational and emotionally perceptive individual, I will always honor another person and myself; it’s called boundaries. In case you didn’t hear me yesterday. I was thankful and enjoyed the food despite not feeling well.
1 Timothy 5:8 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 8 And whoever does not provide for relatives, and especially for family members, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
She never responded and has ignored my message presently during the limited occasions we have been in contact. So I’m not sure if it was ever received or she just has been ignoring and denying as is familiar with narcissists.
October 8, 2019
B: I really missed you at the party. The boys had had enough, and wanted to get dressed after half an hour. Jen was too busy to help them , and Matt was just plain lazy.! They both should have been taken out of the pool, but Matt put them in the hot tub. I was afraid the boys might pass out in the joy tin.
B: I ordered from your Dad’s distributor, because your Dad didn’t want to bother to help me. They knew him well. I got all 30 pill bottles, like you gave me. One to replace what you gave me, one for myself, and one for my neighbor Sonia. I don’t like big bottles in my pharmacy bag. I’m sure the place that you gave me to buy the stuff, would have saved me some money, with the larger size, but then, by buying smaller sizes, I was able to share with more people. I am trying to buy just what I need, and not stock up. You would be surprised to see how clean and organized my apartment is. I put things back in their proper place, after I use them, and hang up my clothes. (“Will somebody give her a trophy for doing what functional and purposeful people do all the time! SMH” )
SA: LOL, Dad didn’t want to help? Ironic because you are divorced and he owes you nothing! Dad also knows the selfish hell you have put me through! You are the most entitled selfish person I know!
B: Your father was an abuser, and jumped on me and beat me. I weighed 117 lbs, and he was over 210 lbs., and over a foot taller than me. My neighbor that was pregnant, came out, to my screams, and wanted to testify against him. I ran from the apartment, barefoot, in fear of my life, and wanted him arrested for domestic abuse. DeKalb police refused to do their job. He stole your kid’s money, and never replaced it. I had your money in a drawer from Birthdays and Christmas, and was going to put it in your bank account. The money that he promised to repay me, I had saved my whole life, since I was a child, and made working 6 years at A&W. He took it to buy coins, and things for himself. He bowled in 5 leagues in Chicago, and every year, when it was our Anniversary, he would take off that weekend and go to the Hoinkee Classic. He came home drunk, very often. He went with his folks up to Hayward each year for vacation, and left me home with you kids. It would have been a great experience for us to go up there, especially with my love of fishing and the water. I am very close to his cousin, who used to live there.
SA Difference is he has changed and grown in Christ; it’s called transformation. You will never change because you are enslaved! You don’t know grace or mercy. You are evil! I have documented many of your abuse! Not going to bother with the reminders! All you do is slander others and point out faults in everyone! It’s ironic because you are your biggest abuser! Destroyed 2 homes! Caused sexual damage to your daughters and even caused over 26 years of torture but God has used it all for good! You are a very sick person! Leave me alone. Quit living in the past! Forgiveness is necessary for your own forgiveness and why you live in guilt and shame. All laws of reciprocity that you are blind to! Nothing happens without you inviting it! When you play with fire or demons, you suffer in hell! You live in deception!
3:13 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)13 Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord[a]
B: 1st of all, he is always complaining about how he can’t make a living off of his products, and doesn’t want to help me replace your bottle or sell me some for myself or my neighbor. I offered to pay for shipping and handling. He never paid me the small amount of alimony ordered by the court for him to pay me, and promised to pay me back the $7,000 he borrowed from me, never helped out with Jennifer’s wedding, like the Father or the bride, not the Mother of the bride pays got the wedding, and the little I got for child support, he wrote off as a tax deduction. It didn’t cost him anything in child support, because he claimed that he supported you, and I couldn’t count you as a dependent on taxes. He has changed, and is now a Christian? Not according to the a Bible. Still the selfish person that I’ve always known, who stole money from his kids, and never replaced it.
SA: It’s always about money with you! Greedy bitch who lives in gluttony and is never satisfied with your selfishness! That is right! Dad is being forced into retirement and living off just about nothing just like me and you have the audacity to feel like you are owed!!!!!!! EVIL PSYCHOPATH who is going to burn in hell!
B: We really need to talk civilly to each other, because you are the one living in the past. You can’t forgive me, and live in the past. You are the one that is blind and evil. That is in the past, and your Dad might have changed some, but he is still one of the most selfish people I know, and Pam is too.
SA: LOL Nothing civil about you! You are such a compulsive liar! Mentally ill! I know who I am and I know who you are! You are a no nothing! I have forgiven you because that is freedom! I love my freedom! You are projecting!
October 10, 2019
B: I too have to remove myself from toxic, satanic Stephanie. You know that we are all sinners, and when you see me, you have a tendency to not focus on God, but go back to your evil ways. We are all evil by nature. I have started to talk to David, and that is when he said that he would help with your basement. I am just like my father, and put everyone’s needs before myself. I do NOT do that to avoid my own problems, but because I feel I am doing the Lord’s will. I almost lost my job at the Post Office, trying to do right by you, and using all my 5 weeks of vacation, plus taking leave without pay, and loosing vacation, so I could do for you, out of love. It was a miracle that I was able to stay in the nursing program and graduate with a B average. Most people would have been dropped from the program for taking a month off of school, but I made a month up in 2 weeks on Spring Break, and still had a B average, as if I were listening in class. I learn better by listening and doing, than reading. I learned new skills on my own, and passed clinicals with flying colors. I am very smart, even though I have ADHD, and it is a lot harder to concentrate and listen. My parents had such high standards, is why I always did my best, and asked to sit at the front of the class, to avoid distractions.
Please give me some slack. All I hear is negativity from you, and I am like a little kid, and need praise, to do my best. My parents always praised me for the good that I did. My Dad took me to church, Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, and to and from choir practice. I could always count on my parents, and I wanted to pay them back in their old age, for all the love that I was shown. In High School, I was a loner, and listened to the beat of my own drum. That is why I was a virgin on my wedding night, and told your Dad no so many times, because I obeyed God, instead of going with the flow.
I am a very strong person for all the things that I overcame. When your Dad divorced me, it broke me, because I did my best, and I did great! He said that he wasn’t going to grow up until he was 56. I had to basically raise you by myself. I couldn’t make it off of what little he gave me, so I worked a little to get by. He wrote what he gave me off in taxes, because he claimed all of you as dependents, so he got most of the money back in taxes. I worked very hard babysitting and delivering newspapers to put food on the table. I didn’t get food stamps, though I should have qualified, but I was honest and told them of my savings. Instead of going out and blowing my savings, to get food stamps, like the others, I worked my butt off and scraped for every penny I made. I never wasted anything. I couldn’t afford to. The reason I stayed with Greg, is because I really believed in my vows of marriage. To death do us part. After your Dad divorced me, I couldn’t say the word divorced for 2 years. I felt like such a failure, because I tried, even though your Dad abused me, beat me, verbally abused me, and threw things at me. Putting his fist through many walls. I became very good at patching drywall. I always got my complete deposit back, because I made improvements, and left my rental apartment better, and cleaner, than it was when we moved in. (“Caught her in another lie. I remember going to the 7 eleven and using food stamps to purchase bread and milk when I was in kindergarten.”)
SA: Your demonic spirits of mana and jezebel are obvious!
B: If I had to do it again, I would have thrown Greg to the curb. I know now, that I should have protected you, and he didn’t help our standard of living, because I never saw his check. He kept it and blew it on the Chana Auction, bought cars and trucks, fed his brother’s family, and stuff like that. He never saved a dime, and I had to go into my savings many times, just to pay the bills. Fortunately after I paid off my cars, I pretended that I was still making car payments, and put the car payment into savings. And I was very appreciative for the cheap rent my father gave us. That helped a lot. Also, for babysitting and taking care of you as much as possible for free. That’s why I took care of them for free and bought clothes, diapers, food for them for free. I have so much guilt,when they took mother away. I rented that room at the motel to take good care of her. When they put her in the nursing home, they took away her quality of life, and she was abused! Her skin broke down. When I went to visit her, she was sitting in piss and shit! It was all over the floor, and they did nothing. I took her into the bathroom and hosed her down, gave her a bath, and put clean clothes on her many times. Her skin was perfect with me. There, her skin was broken down, and I cleaned her up and but Udder Balm all over her butt to heal her. I brought expensive blister bandaids for her heals, and the nurse stole them, so they were never used on her. I washed all of her clothes. I snuck in egg custard and raspberries, so she could have some quality of life, and when I took her to the movies, I bought her coke, because she dearly loved coke, and had fed it to her, making her tuck her chin, so she didn’t aspirate it into her lungs. It took me 30 minutes to slowly feed her a small cup. You have no idea what I did for Mom. She had no oral care, and I had her up and walking. They strapped her to a wheelchair and gave her too much tube feeding, so she gained a lot of weight at the end. I had to buy larger clothes for the funeral home. I didn’t realize that she was bigger than what I got, or I would have exchanged her blouse for the next size. The funeral home made it do, and didn’t call me, so they slit the back of a new expensive blouse, so they could use it. I wanted her to look her best! I am in tears now, so must stop.
I am not a narcissist! What I said was fact. I am a lot like my Dad. Your cataracts and nystagmus have clouded your vision, and you can’t see clearly. I have been told to not listen to you, because you are not in your right mind because the lesions in your brain mess up your thinking. Satan seems to take over your body when I am trying my best to help you, even when I have been deathly sick. No thankfulness that I dropped my plans to tend to your needs. I have always put my family first, before myself. I took you to Mayo’s, ( “I’d like to add in 1993″ which was 26 years ago.” ) which put my nursing on the line. Most people would have been dropped from the program. It was a miracle that I wasn’t dropped, and made it with flying colors. I saw plenty of people dropped from the program. Why can’t you see the truth? Why do you distort the truth? God knows my heart. He is the only one that matters. I don’t care what you think, because your thinking is so off, it is impossible to discuss things with you. The proof is the evil in your eyes, and the fact that God isn’t in control, when I sit down cool and calm, and you have satan in your heart, and claw and bruise your mother. I never ever left marks on you or anyone when they needed to be punished. You had that look in your eyes, as a child, that my shit don’t stink, and I know it all. Quit being deceived. Focus on the things you have control to change, and stop trying to change everyone else. You were a terrible sister to Jen. You put her down for everything she did. You had to always put her down to make you feel good. She was always between a rock and a hard place, and all she wanted was your love. She wants our family to be whole, just as I do. You have isolated yourself from the world, and even though you think that you focus on God, you let satan come in and separate our family. Look at yourself first. Quit judging! God is the one in control. Not you.
You should be asking God for forgiveness. This is NOT a lie. You did this to me when I was trying to help you, and this is the thanks I got. Get out of my house!
I was a very shy child. I stayed to myself. I was afraid to go to birthday parties. I never stood out. It wasn’t until I took voice lessons, that my voice instructor saw my talent, promoting me, and getting me to get up in front of people. When I was winning firsts in State Competition and made All State Band, I never saw or clipped articles about my achievements. I didn’t brag. I just acted normal.
You seem to be like your Dad. Selfish, self centered, and don’t have the ability to love people unconditionally. You put conditions on your love, and therefore are unable to love truly. True love never dies. It goes on forever. I am glad that your neighbors finally got married instead of living in sin. That is there own business, and they have shown you Christian love. A great influence on you. How come they could do no wrong? No one is perfect. Lest you or me. Why didn’t you feel the urge to correct them, like everyone else?
B: What does that pertain to me? You are the toxic person. I didn’t do anything to deserve your abuse, and never got mad. I was filled with the Holy Spirit, and keep quiet and strong, asking you to please stop. I didn’t hit back. I just took your rage. But you can’t see that, because you are the narcissist. You are always right even though you have been wrong in so many ways. I don’t like labels. They are like calling people names. You learned nothing in psychology. You got a D in it twice, and I told you to talk to your instructor.He or she would have raised your grade to a C the second time around if he thought that you were trying. You refused to do that, and then dropped out.
You are so wrong! I used to keep a very good house. Everyone told me I was just like my Dad. Why do you persecute me! Stop making me cry. I need to talk to you !You twist everything that I say. My brother was just like Mom.
Why do you think that I am a nurse? Why did I become a nurse? Just like my father the Medic in the Army. Jennifer is just like me. You are just like your Dad. And David used to be the best of both of us combined. Now he is just the worst of both of us. He changed, in the Marines, and has changed since he married Dawn. Because Dawn and her family are deceived, and really non believers that have sucked your brother into their cult, he has changed in the last 10+ years. He still has Christ down in his heart, but Dawn has tried to change him, but at least he never joined her church, and has tried to pull away from her church, because he wasn’t being fed by her church. He was starving! The kids (Matthew & Annette) shared with me what a horrible time they had at Salvation Army Camp. Annette had an ok time, but they complained that all the kids from all over the United States were Black and Hispanic. They were the only white kids, and all those kids did was bully Matthew, confuse him, tell him wrong places to go, so he would miss out on the fun, and laugh at him. When I have taken them to all black affairs, they have had a great time, and blended in with the others as if they were friends. Matthew just wanted to make new friends. They were horrible to him, and that is what Grandma Zahn & Dawn made them go to.
Dawn is a control freak, and has tried to control me, but I just shut up, by the will of God, and didn’t make waves, so I finally, after a year, got to take Annette to the washed out Creston Booster Days. We had a great time getting candy at the parade, but then I asked her what she would like to do the rest of the day, so she wanted to shop at the Mall. I ended up spoiling her for her Birthday and Christmas together, because I spent $60 on a Build-a-Bear, and watched how it was done. I had never been in the store before. They put a scented heart inside the bear. We got all the accessories, because I knew that they would be gone if we didn’t get them then. I called Dave from the mall to get some information for the bear, so that Dawn could get credit for the bear, because they didn’t have her account on file. I wasn’t going to spend any more money at that store. It was way too expensive. I wanted to get Annette something that I thought she would really like. When I bought her a coat a few years back, I took 2 coats for her to select from, and she wore the coat lovingly for several years, even though she has grown so quickly. She is bigger than her brother. Of course I got chewed out by Dave for not calling first, but said to him that I didn’t do anything wrong, and when his Dad takes the kids for a weekend, he doesn’t call him for permission to take the kids where he wants to go, so Dave agreed with me. I gave him back the $20 he gave me for rides, and shared St. John’s Norwegian food that I picked up at their booth, with Annette. She thought that it was good. I plan on going to Matthew’s next soccer game if it is good weather. Snow is predicted out West, and possible freeze or near freeze here.
Please stop making me cry. The tears have built up pressure in my ear, headache, and now my teeth are aching. I was getting better, but toxic Stephanie, made me feel really worse, when I was feeling better. I need to be loved. Not tortured. I need positive, encouragement. Before all the flooding and training, I was making progress on the house. By being ill, and giving my all to my little patient, she has gotten better, and I am making a difference in her and her families lives. I know that God put me there for a purpose, and I am just what they needed. They need lots more of me, but Instead of working 2 ten hour shifts, I am working 3 eight hour shifts. They really need me 5 nights, but I have set my limit, so I can work at the house, when I feel better. I was so sick, that instead of hauling my clothes home to wash and dry, I spent $3.00 per load to wash the clothes in the washers and driers just outside my apartment. 48 apartments use those 2 washers and dryers, so I washed in the middle of the night, so they would be free for others.
I never once, got an apology from him, for all the pain he tortured me with. He NEVER changed one diaper on any of his kids. I had to teach him when the grandkids came along, because he was so stupid, that he put a disposable diaper on, inside out. I have treated your father decent when we have been together in public, since our divorce. I had a very difficult time saying the word divorced, for 2 years after our divorce. I am one of the most loyal people you will ever find on this earth. I could go on and on, but I won’t, and I did nothing to brainwash you into hating your father. I always left the door open for him. He used to come out to the farm and want to have sex with me, after he divorced me. I refused, and he cried. I kept myself a virgin for our marriage, and I dated him for 4 years. Please don’t judge my relationship with God. It isn’t your place to do so. God knows how I feel about him. Not you. You want to correct everyone, but you cannot accept criticism, when you are wrong in your thinking of the Bible, and I have many Christian friends that would love to straighten out your messed up thinking.
SA: Another person can’t make you cry! It is called reaping what you sow! You are evil and shouldn’t have responded but you asked for it! You hate your reality which is ironic. You made your bed. Gosh you are this upset over the truth and I don’t even matter, just wait till you are face to face with Christ and answering for all your evil sins. Good to know even more what an absolute psychopath you are. So your husband wasn’t expected to contribute anything but the daughter you brought into the world, with a chronic illness living in poverty somehow owes you to take care of your property! How dare I expect anything from you out of actual LOVE, which you are void of! The world revolves around you in your sick warped mind. You think nothing of blowing money on worldly garbage but how dare I have a roof over my head! Hypocrisy much! Quit texting me if you can’t handle the truth!
Apologies? I’ve NEVER heard any apologies from you for any of the abuse you have caused! The verbal abuse has been extensive; free loader, just to name a few. Then there is the bully tactics! Sexual abuse at the hands of your husband! It’s always about how everyone else is wrong and owes you! #Entitlement
B: I have apologized to you, but your ears are deaf just like your father’s. You don’t listen, because you are too busy telling others how wrong they are. You have acted like you are entitled to live in grandpa’s house. You never act like you appreciate the fact that I bought Uncle Mark out, so that you would have a place to live. Have you taken my advice and called that Chicago Attorney? He can help you, and God led me to him to help you. I call that love.
SA: You have NEVER apologized EVER! I document everything! LIAR!!!!!!! Not exactly sure how you decided you deserve anything you have because you shit all over it! You are not entitled to ANYTHING you have! It is all by the grace of God and He determines what people have. You have NO authority over anything and give it to satan!
You are so clueless! There is absolutely nothing in your life that shows you serve Christ! You serve Mana and your self aka satan! The idea that you believe that knowing RELIGION has anything to do with a relationship with Christ is unbelievable! I live in the supernatural of Christ and that doesn’t happen without Christ! You are demonic! Quit deflecting because you keep revealing how insane you really are! REPENT! We Know them by their “fruits”!
B: Will you quit trying to put a guilt trip on ME? Drop Greg! It is in the past, and God has forgiven me. Why can’t you, if you have Him in your heart? God took Greg out of the picture, to save you and Jen. You never have to look at him again. I believe that God forgave Greg, and he is in heaven. Greg had a loving heart, and would give you the shirt off his back. He wasn’t ALL bad. Yes, I admit that I should have kicked him to the curb, but I took our Wedding Vows very seriously! Till death do us part. Well it ended till death do us part. God made it that way, because I couldn’t do what needed to be done. Thank God for the abuse, and that He saved you from it. Quit blaming me for not protecting you. Greg was there when Jennifer tried to commit suicide. She might be dead, if he hadn’t taken her to the hospital. He worked in the cold and drifting snow out at Kish, in the dark, to repair a car for one of you. Yes, he had his faults. He abused me, but I stepped in and protected Jennifer, when Greg got mad and was going to hit her. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to walk again when he pushed me onto the galvanized bucket, and I crushed full cans of soup and vegetables with my hip, but Jen saved me by running to Knight’s and called for help. I couldn’t get up. I had to learn to walk again. I stayed 5 days in the hospital. It was a good thing that Greg went to jail. He learned his lesson, and never did it again. I forgave him for what he did to me. Why can’t you? You never said that you were sorry for beating me up, but I forgave you. Why can’t you forgive me, if you have Christ in your heart? I could really use your help in organizing. I am clueless, but am trying. You might have some good suggestions. I am trying to keep my apartment clean and nice, but it has been hard being sick, working, and living in half an apartment. I have been flooded 3 times in 4 months, and need to get back in my house. I have been giving good things away, throwing out, and returning what I can to the store. It all takes time. I have blocked telemarketers, and the phone is getting much better. I was getting the garbage out every time it got full. All my dishes were washed. The grandkids said to me that I didn’t have much in my refrigerator, or much in my cupboards. My closet is only half full. Give me a break! I know that I lacked discipline, but after I retired, I felt like taking it easy, and began to be a pig again. Yes, I thought that I had worked my butt off all my life, and deserved to take a break. I have been pushing my body beyond it’s limits, and haven’t been able to sleep because of inconsiderate people, and by taking prednisone. I haven’t had pain for the first time in years, but I know that it won’t last. I haven’t been taking Norco, since I need to think my best at work. My job isn’t easy. I have had many malfunctions with the equipment. She has had a double ear infection, and I monitor her all night long, having to suction, do nebulizer treatments, add humidification to her trach, and sometimes put her on oxygen to keep her O2 saturation’s above 94%. It is a lot of responsibility for getting paid just $20 per hour. State cases don’t pay that well, but I have been reunited with my old nurses from Danny’s case, and met others that worked for Alpha Christian Registry. We are all in the same boat. No pay differential for nights, no weekend pay, no bonuses. But people who take your order at McDonalds, that have no skills like me, want $15 per hour. I work hard for my money. Money and things don’t mean that much to me. It’s just that I put value on them, because I worked so hard to pay for the things I have. In reality, I could be a missionary, and get by on nothing much. I am going to try to downsize. I wanted so many of the things that I have, so that I could entertain, like I used to when I first moved in. I thought that my house was mouse proof, but discovered that it wasn’t when I started moving in. My crawl space is where I believe they are coming in. It wasn’t properly sealed. I found that out, when Jennifer moved into a house with a crawl space under her laundry room. God blessed me with Gorman snakes, to help get rid of the mice. They are beautiful, but scared me to death. I had to ask God to protect me from these semi venomous snakes, and the mice at night. I know that God brought them to me, because they aren’t supposed to be in this area. You have no idea what I have been through. Only Sonia knows about the snakes, and her mother had a big rat in her apartment in Chicago, and she is very clean.
You don’t even read things right. I said that I bought your brother out, meaning that I bought his half. Also, his half of the farm. I am very grateful for what my Dad and Mother have done for me. That is why I lovingly took care of them, and bought the house in Rockford with them in mind. Before I bought the house, I had Dad come and approve of it, and asked if he might picture himself and grandma living with me at sometime in the future. I didn’t lie! You are so blind! You are so wrong! I won’t call you names, but the Holy Spirit is not showing in your heart. You are always right, even though you interpret the scriptures incorrectly. I’ve had a lot more education on the Bible than you! I might not be able to name the chapter or verse, but it is in my heart. I am finished trying to communicate with you. I have to separate myself from your delusional thinking. Yes, you would have reaped more from me, but you are the one that chose to shut me out. You don’t know how to honor thy parents as it says in the Bible. You also forgot about how God led me to purchase that ticket that you benefited from at Heritage Days. I don’t normally gamble, but I put your name on six tickets, and God chose your’s. A gift from God! I am not shutting you out. You are the selfish delusional person. You have no idea where my money or tithe goes. If you have nothing good to say, then it is better to say nothing. That is what I was taught. You probably won’t call that lawyer, because you are a stubborn brat that is blind and deaf. God helps them that help themselves. I feel that that attorney was sent from God to help you, but you are apparently deaf to God’s WORD! Go ahead and struggle, because you are too stubborn to do the right thing, even when God puts it in your hand. I wanted to learn more from you and your homeopathy. I could have used your help, and would have paid you gas money for your help, but you are the selfish one. Selfish Stephanie, just like Selfish Stephen. You were named after him, because when I first held you in my arms, you looked just like your father. Like father, like daughter, and you have turned into him. Not something to be proud of. I pray that you will really open your heart to Christ and show the world his light, as in “This Little Light of Mine.” I pray that you will get your sight and hearing back, and I pray for your messed up brain. I want our family to be whole again, just as much as Jennifer does. We are so much alike. God bless! Mom
SA: You are DELUSIONAL and SICK! Greg is not in heaven, I can literally almost guarantee it! The gate is narrow and very few enter through it! In fact, many so called Christian’s like yourself will hear “I never knew you.” False gospel is an epidemic! Good trees don’t produce bad fruit like gluttony,greed,idolatry,sloth. I’m finished with you! Only $29 an hour? Poor thing! You are insane! Selfish 2 year old, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine! I have forgiven, learn what it means! You are psychotic! Be careful because God just might rescue me from you like he did Greg! You are such a lying bitch! Talk about irony! Everything you bring up is all about the past! You are the one that doesn’t understand forgiveness, mercy, or grace! It is why it is so obvious you live in the flesh! Give it up! You are not rational! You deflect everything! I am done with your verbal abuse and attacks! You make it so obvious how difficult it is to be a loving authentic person! Work on your own self awareness and development and quit harassing me! Until you fix yourself, there is no possibility of a relationship with you! Functional doesn’t work with dysfunction! It’s not about perfection but about submission to Christ! New Creation like the Bible refers to when you are saved. The renewing of the mind and transformation! STOP!!!!!!!!! You are wicked! Evil! I want nothing to do with you at this point! You accuse me of exactly everything you do and it’s called deflection and projection! Lovingly took care of them? OMG! You keep on showing just how outrageously disconnected from reality and should be locked up in a mental institution!
Anybody else notice all the contradictions in her comments. First she claimed Greg never gave her any money and blew it all, then within a few more sentences is claiming he was caring and would give the shirt off of his back? Which is it?! Oh the struggle my mother must have only making $29 an hour? On top of her social security, retirement, husbands pension, and 2 farming income’s. How does she ever make it on over $45,000 annually with no mortgage? I have lived on less than $10,000 the last 4 years and the most I ever made was around $27,000 on a good health year.Narcissism is a symptom of demonic possession and involves gluttony,addiction, materialism, idolatry, manipulation, insecurity, and every fruit of satan.
SA: Being shy is a result of insecurity and insecurity is a fruit of satan. I am well aware of your insecurity and why you seek validation and praise. It is because you don’t know value in Christ. You are deceived thinking value comes from what you produce or have; also why you have a house full of garbage because you don’t understand value. Thanks for continuing to affirm everything I already know about you and your bondage.
Holidays always force the lonely narcissist out of their minds.
11/29/19 B: Sorry, but your messages were not available for me to read or see. Safari can't find the server.
SA: How convenient? You aren't able to watch youtube videos on safari? SMH As usual your satanic phone and the devil are very good at controlling your life and keeping you blind to truth and in bondage! Also, as usual your response makes absolutely no rational or logical sense. Why would I be mad that you weren't able to see the video I sent? It's your loss. not mine, I already enjoyed the video!
B:" Sorry, but I have no control over that.Don't get mad at me when I tell you the truth"
SA: Who said anything about being mad? LOL You must be projecting your anger of lack of control! I was just stating the obvious that you are blind and in bondage because of your choice to use a satanic phone and you confirmed it by the fact you couldn't see it. Sucks to be in bondage like you!
B: You are assuming, and when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. Why don't you try judging yourself before you judge others. We are not to make judgements on others. Let God be the judge. You aren't always right, even
though you think that you always are. Try showing a little love, if you can, because when others look at you they don't see the love of God shinning through. All they see is bitterness and judgement."
SA: You are assuming and projecting, how ironic! Avoiding the obvious question too! It's called gas lighting! You can't speak for other people; it is called gossip! I also KNOW your mind is warped because of your obvious fruits. If you actually judged people as the Bible instructs, you would have recognized Greg was someone to avoid! I know Christ intimately and He is the only ONE who I listen to. Go play your mind games on somebody else!
The entire news story just didn’t make sense? Way too many holes in the story and it was based on assumptions. Check it out for yourself. I’m a thinker who is very analytical and objective and evidence based. It seemed similar to the Jussie Smollet situation. A website on a banner that is blurred out and small on a banner that reads “Strong Families Strong Nations” is promoting white supremacy? I guess I’m just too logical because I don’t see any connection? Furthermore it almost seemed like it was all too convenient and planned. A random sign hanging from a heavily traveled downtown bridge and someone goes to a great effort to take it down. It would have been difficult to even see the website from any distance and nothing in the message would signal any negativity. Finally, they never even mention the name of the so called group on the website? It sure didn’t pass the smell test and too many missing pieces literally! I’m actually surprised it wasn’t reported somewhere there was MAGA on the banner. The intellectual dishonesty is really getting old concerning media.
Although I am not going to miss facebook and its source of evil propaganda that is sustained by the love of money. I am angered by it’s obvious contempt of those who are conservative and religious. Not only have I been restricted from posting but most every action has been disabled. I am unable to like any posts or update my own information. This is total fascism! It should be called fascist book! I am including screenshots of my comments in relation to the reported post in complete transparency and accountability. You decide whether my comments were threatening or degrading to any specific individual or minority group? They follow below:
Although I didn’t watch the entire video, it was obvious Del Wasso, the professing anti fascist didn’t watch any of it and had the audacity to claim it was hateful. There was absolutely nothing hateful in the message of Farrakhan unless you define truth as hate. It was also delusional to imply posting the video would some how be evidence of white supremacy? Nothing says insanity like believing someone who supposedly hates blacks would find value and share a video of a black person? I would encourage you to watch the video for yourself and decide. His message was all about the importance of family and how it produces strength for everyone in the nation. It also mentions hard truths about the divisions that society condition. We don’t even share the same religion, however, his message conveyed the same priorities of the God I know and held so much truth. Facebook and liberals are the new “Boy who cried wolf.” only replacing it with “Boy who called racist/hate.” I did a little research on the antifascist fascist who reported me to facebook as threatening. Boy do I feel powerful now. A 52 year old previous marine was scared of little old me? LOL He clearly has mental issues associated with narcissism. Check out the psychopaths blog in the following link:
Democrats with the help of facebook are the thought police and they rob anyone of thought diversity or any intellectual discussion of depth which leads to transformation. Their purpose is to rob anybody of power and they despise those that live in the freedom of Christ. Facebook thinks they get to decide and define hate and it is subjective and biased against the soul. Facebook would claim that a psychological diagnosis of narcissism would be hate. I guess I must be doing something right to be an enemy of facebook and liberalism. I am in good company with well known pastor’s. I would encourage all to screenshot everything when dealing with facebook. I am delusional enough to try and pursue a class action lawsuit or contact freedom fighters in government. This needs to end!
Once again a local news post for propaganda on facebook inspired a passion into understanding and exposing evil in a world that tries to label it as the opposite; also known in psychology as gas lighting. It is apparent who is not paying attention and spiritually blind in these evil days. God hates evil and everything involved with it; and as His child so do I. It is why I have become almost obsessed with psychology, which is the study of human behavior. Satan is the reason humans created psychology to try and explain spirituality and fruits of demonic influence that lead to a depraved mind calling it mental illness. Satan is the inventor of spiritual deception, confusion, and gas lighting which is labeled mental illness.
Getting to the point that has been made clear when looking through the lens of scripture, is that the Democratic platform has based their platform on satan. It is a party that promotes coveting, theft, idolatry, confusion, and oppression. It is a party that seeks to gain power over the flesh while minimizing the power of the spirit. It is a party of deception! You cannot fight what you refuse to acknowledge and why democrats want nothing more to deceive people into believing they are powerless.
John 10:10 New International Version (NIV) 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the fullest.
The Democrats policies; kill babies, steal wealth, and destroy families. How original……NOT! They are the party of gas lighting,labels, and identity theft or as known as identity politics. The content of a person’s character or spirit is ignored while they impose spiritual coveting. Just one example is the significance they place on skin color, gender, or anything shallow and of the flesh that can be used as a mask of illusion. They are spiritually blind and deceived while focusing on the opposite of what matters and valuable. They cannot understand people who are different and free from bondage, nor do they even want to, because they are selfish and therefor hate and resent it. They choose fear of objects, hats, organizations; all which are void of power without a source of spirituality. They are ignorant to the reality that power has to be given and is a choice of free will; coming from either submission to Christ or self ( aka satan ). Their insecurity and fear reveals who they have given power to and it’s the opposite of Christ, which produce good “fruits”.
2 Timothy 1:7-8 New International Version (NIV) 7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 8 So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.
Those that have submitted their life to faith and following Christ learn through experience the deception that fear is. They realize fear is a liar and an illusion provided by the author of confusion, known as satan.
Democrats, liberals, or progressives never come from a place of empowerment because it can’t be understood when living in bondage. The Bible also explains how darkness hates light and reveals their hate for those empowered while living in the light among a dark world. It produces a fruit of resentment in the weak. It explains why democrats will always use the weakest group because they are the easiest to control while knowing only bondage. Democrats believe the only way to gain power is to take it from someone else. They are ignorant of self empowerment through Christ and assume anyone feeling empowered had to steal it from somebody else; they cannot comprehend the supernatural power that God provides when living out faith in Christ. Another tool of satan is division and dividing and conquering. The Holy spirit has made it clear in His Word we are all created spiritually equal from birth and meant to live in harmony. When you are filled with this kind of gentle spirit not controlled with ego, insecurity, or controlling others it produces peace. The reality is nobody is better or worse and any belief otherwise is a sign of deception and an influence of demonic spirit. Pay attention because anybody spreading discourse and trying to appear better than another individual is demonically inspired. Also be diligent to recognize the difference between a spirit of correction and condemnation because satan is a pro at blurring the truth and creating insecurity in a spiritually weak person. It is why it is so important we only meditate and allow our spirit to be defined by Christ and His word. Someone informing you that you are wrong in a matter is correction, while someone exalting their knowledge and claiming you are wrong is condemnation. It can be very insidious and attention to detail, confidence and intimacy in Christ is required for recognizing the difference. It takes practice and therefor regular reflection and meditation on the Word and prayer are necessary; resulting in continuous spiritual communication to the Lords channel.
James 3:17 New International Version (NIV) 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
1 Corinthians 4:6 New International Version (NIV) 6 Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “Do not go beyond what is written.” Then you will not be puffed up in being a follower of one of us over against the other.
Romans 12:3 New International Version (NIV) Humble Service in the Body of Christ 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Spirituality is actually very simple to understand and recognize when you have been conditioned to seek, practice, and apply the Word of God to living. Empowerment and encouragement are good and Holy fruits while the opposite like victimizing and discouragement are bad fruits and seeds of the devil. The world ruler tries to blur the spiritual line between good and evil, however, good and evil are like night and day.
The democrats goal in obvious spiritual depravity, is to silence anyone calling evil what it really is. They even created a term for this spiritual manifestation called political correctness. The democrats don’t want any hint of spirituality used in government and they use the old “separation of church and state” as witchcraft because when you get the Bible involved they are exposed for the corrupt and evil that they truly are. It also prevents the people from being rightly empowered by their birth and God’s sovereign plan.
I didn’t choose to quit working but after almost 15 years with my previous employer, I was released during a battle with my chronic illness. Apparently God decided I needed a time out after 22 years of pushing through health challenges. The current season has ended up being much longer than I ever imagined and at this point I’m not even sure of the duration or what lies ahead. The last 3 years have found me with no consistent income and waiting on approval of social security disability. I finally received a date for my hearing and recently had a phone interview with the attorney I found, in preparation for my hearing. The conversation with him left me with anxiety and insecurity because it reminded me of the shallow perception, discrimination, and lack of understanding the majority of people have regarding illness and health. Healthy people take so much for granted. It takes effort to live with a chronic illness; fighting for life daily. People are blind to what is unseen and it reveals how disconnected they are from our Creator, who cannot be seen. Chronic illness conditions you to live on a much deeper and spiritual level. It also reveals the Supernatural powers you depend on daily. Being intentional is a necessity. It takes a great deal of faith,skill, and determination to live with a life threatening disease and look as good as I do. 😉 All glory to Heaven and my Lord. Many times my mother has accused me of faking her out while sick, however, it is all grace and no act on my part. God makes illness look easy I guess?
Admittedly it can be easier to be perceived as normal when most of the world is either self focused and distracted or under the influence of stress, toxic foods, alcohol, or legalized medications. I am not in the habit of sharing details that could potentially be used against me at some point.The only people that are aware of my brain damage are my doctors and I think they have even forgotten because of time and appearance’ based on supernatural adaptation. Even my family has what I call as health trauma amnesia, because all they seem to recognize is what they currently see? It is not as if I share all the details of my illness or even should. Just this evening as I was vacuuming the rug in my living room by myself my brain was telling that I was brushing the floor. #BlameItOnAphasia #BrainLesionProblems It is moments like this that pop up unexpected on various occasions with no warning. Or all the times my nystagmus gets the best of me and I look like I’m intoxicated because I stumble when moving. These are just some of the daily reminders I am not completely able. It leaves me feeling ashamed knowing all those amazing talents I possess are wasted on others ignorance and expectations. Just as I am able to write this blog; it takes careful and methodical editing, persistence, and time; which the real world doesn’t seem to allow. I haven’t given up restoration or eventually earning passive income yet either, but in the mean time I need some financial stability to go further and obtain my goals.
I don’t want my illness to define me nor am I seeking sympathy either. I would prefer to be understood; which seems unlikely. As I mentioned previously, I’m grateful my impairments are not obvious; it’s hard enough dealing with the discrimination that is invisible. It is a battle that seems impossible to win, having people question your ability to work and ironically now why you aren’t. The power of perception is so fickle! I’m just too intelligent and good looking to be disabled apparently? Yet here I am killing it, even literally!
.Intelligence,personality, and beauty do not dictate a person’s ability to work, accomplish tasks, or follow through. These characteristics make for a desirable resume, but lack in productivity. Any source of income or employment requires consistency; which does not exist or even realistic when challenged with an unpredictable immune dysfunction. Besides the nervous system damage that has occurred, having an immune system that is incapable of protecting me from all the unseen environmental toxins and warfare leaves me sick at the drop of a dime, on top of the typical fatigue. Statistics state that an additional year of life is added to every year while ill. I am constantly being reminded of how good I look for being sick. I will be 46 next month and it has been just over 25 years dealing with my condition ,so that would make me 71; no wonder my body is ready for retirement. I look fabulous for 71! lol Then there are all the kidney stones and surgeries on a very regular basis I deal with. I eventually created a photo album on facebook to start documenting some of the ridiculous journey.
“When you examine the lives of the most influential people who have ever walked among us, you discover one thread that winds through them all. They have been aligned first with their spiritual nature and only then with their physical selves.” – Albert Einstein
Well as usual God speaks to my heart through my daily devotional:
” None of us are immune. Life is hard some days. And often there’s not even just one “big” thing, but just lots of little battles that can drain us dry. Parenting, marriage, job, relationships, fears, worries about the future, experiencing loss, discouragement, illness, money problems – it all can leave us beaten down and worn. But, praise God, He gives us one another to help in times when we just feel like, “I can’t anymore…”
“We’re all in this life thing together; let’s help each other today. Give an encouraging word, smile at someone, write a note, send a text, buy someone a coffee, pray for another soul and let them know that you’re praying, anything, just to remind a fellow believer that you’re holding up their battle-weary arms. And that you’re with them.”
And God is with us.
The battle feels intense some days. We get tired and weak,
weary and worn. It’s hard to keep going in the face of defeat. But help
us to remember that you will never leave us, that you’re our Refuge and
our Strength, an ever-present help in trouble. We know that the enemy
wouldn’t be fighting so hard against us, if we weren’t making a
difference for your Kingdom. He wouldn’t be trying so hard to stop us,
if he didn’t think you had so much good still in store. Remind us that
the battle belongs to you, and whatever we’re up against can be taken
down in one fail swoop by your Mighty Hand. Help us to trust you more,
to never waste time spinning our wheels and wrestling or fighting in our
strength. Please forgive us Lord for the times we’ve failed to lift our
hands to you, for the days we’ve forgotten to come to you first. Fill
us with the Power of your Holy Spirit
this day. Fill us with your joy, fill us with your wisdom and
discernment, fill us with constant reminders that Your Presence will go
with us, and you will give us rest.
The Defender personality type is quite unique, as many of their qualities defy the definition of their individual traits. Though sensitive, Defenders have excellent analytical abilities; though reserved, they have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though they are generally a conservative type, Defenders are often receptive to change and new ideas. As with so many things, people with the Defender personality type are more than the sum of their parts, and it is the way they use these strengths that defines who they are.
Defenders are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity.
There’s hardly a better type to make up such a large proportion of the population, nearly 13%. Combining the best of tradition and the desire to do good, Defenders are found in lines of work with a sense of history behind them, such as medicine, academics and charitable social work.
Defender personalities (especially Turbulent ones) are often meticulous to the point of perfectionism, and though they procrastinate, they can always be relied on to get the job done on time. Defenders take their responsibilities personally, consistently going above and beyond, doing everything they can to exceed expectations and delight others, at work and at home.
We Must Be Seen to Be Believed
The challenge for Defenders is ensuring that what they do is noticed. They have a tendency to underplay their accomplishments, and while their kindness is often respected, more cynical and selfish people are likely to take advantage of Defenders’ dedication and humbleness by pushing work onto them and then taking the credit. Defenders need to know when to say no and stand up for themselves if they are to maintain their confidence and enthusiasm.
Naturally social, an odd quality for Introverts, Defenders utilize excellent memories not to retain data and trivia, but to remember people, and details about their lives. When it comes to gift-giving, Defenders have no equal, using their imagination and natural sensitivity to express their generosity in ways that touch the hearts of their recipients. While this is certainly true of their coworkers, whom people with the Defender personality type often consider their personal friends, it is in family that their expressions of affection fully bloom.
If I Can Protect You, I Will
Defender personalities are a wonderful group, rarely sitting idle while a worthy cause remains unfinished. Defenders’ ability to connect with others on an intimate level is unrivaled among Introverts, and the joy they experience in using those connections to maintain a supportive, happy family is a gift for everyone involved. They may never be truly comfortable in the spotlight, and may feel guilty taking due credit for team efforts, but if they can ensure that their efforts are recognized, Defenders are likely to feel a level of satisfaction in what they do that many other personality types can only dream of.
I will admit after all the nastiness that I witnessed from Donald Trump during the Presidential campaign, against the man that God had motivated me to support; I was not a fan. However, I am so thankful that I trust Christ and He is in control when I have been deceived by the liberal media and my own deceptive eyes. It reminds me of the scripture:
2 Corinthians 5:7 "We live by believing and not by seeing."
Glasses are the perfect symbol that our eyes have limitations; too many people trust and focus on them. Some of the most insightful people have been blind and it is because Faith is the only option in their world. So I am so grateful when life turns out differently than I expected! God knows me so much better than I even know myself.
If I hear more garbage about Russia interfering with the elections I think I could scream; the shear insanity! More than 50% of voters didn’t want Hillary Clinton as President either but the Democrat party is now the party of denial and demons apparently? I didn’t vote for Trump, however, if there was a re-vote I would in a heart beat. God is Sovereign and He has allowed Trump to lead our country; that is reality!
Romans 13:1-5New Living Translation (NLT) Respect for Authority13 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2 So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. 3 For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. 4 The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. 5 So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.
Too many people deny God’s power and authority. Government has become a false idol and government has become a tool for Satan.
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT
It all just continues to break my heart. The world needs truth and Jesus in politics again; so I try to be a small voice of sanity and thankful for the few steady politicians with integrity like Rand Paul, Mike Lee, Trey Gowdy, Ted Cruz, and locally Adam Kinzinger.
Life has seemed like a treasure hunt in pursuit of pieces to the health puzzle I have sought over the last 23+ years hoping to regain my health. I think I first need to add a disclaimer; the intention of this post isn’t to insult doctors because I have great respect for my providers, albeit they seem to be confined to the book of “one size fits all” answers? My goal would be to expose the flaws in the broken system and transform health as God has intended, because He is a healer! What happened to individualized medicine? The world has sucked in medicine, just like everything else!
I guess I thought seeking care at a facility based on Christianity; where the slogan was “we treat the human spirit” might involve seeking the Creator and Holy Spirit for guidance? Not only did it not seem the case; I actually had to argue many times about wasteful tests before procedures; like pregnancy, because apparently I couldn’t possibly be single,over 30, and celibate living in society by the worlds standard? Why would I lie about my standard of faith? I guess the question should be, why do so many not own their life? Of course, I do have a past, but fortunately I have learned from those mistakes and Sarcoidosis has taught me. When you have a chronic illness you no longer have a choice but to submit to wisdom.
Another contradiction, I thought medicine was suppose to be a science? I have found very little science in the broken system as I have tried to scale it. Science would actually test for the specific microorganism causing illness; whether bacteria,viral,fungal, or parasite. If the intention is to treat or cure a condition with a medication it shouldn’t be potentially worthless. In addition, those treatments can come with horrible consequences’ to the magnificent human machine God created. Logic explains in order to heal or cure an illness, the cause must be addressed. I can’t help but compare a vehicle to the human body; if the car didn’t start would you just add gas or oil and hope it starts? LOL Of course not! So why is this an acceptable norm in medicine?
It has never made sense to treat an over responsive immune malfunction with destruction? Satan is the thief and destroyer; so now medicine is used as a tool for Satan? That is the depth of my heart and how my pure heart understands it. I guess I am just too spiritual for this world? God created our immune system for survival in a dangerous ecosystem that contains plenty of ammunition that the enemy intends to use for destruction. Our bodies divinely use homeostasis to adapt to our surroundings. I can’t deny that some of the medications achieved the desired momentary result and have been beneficial initially for survival, however, 20+ years of immune suppression is excessive and outweighs the good. Less really is more and moderation is key with anything in life. Drugs have taken the role of instant gratification by current medical standards and are manipulative tools against intelligent design. Keeping someone alive to just survive has never been my desire; quality over quantity is my goal. I just wish the purpose of medicine was to actually improve health and not just mask symptoms and problems afflicted by this broken and deceptive world.
Ephesians 6:12-13New Living Translation (NLT)
12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.
I could list so many scriptures because I have been living the scriptures and I’m tired of living in a one dimensional world based only on the physical, when Life is the product of the Spirit. After recently documenting my medical history to apply for disability, I realized on paper I probably appear dead? Over just the last 23 years I have had 17 surgeries, 28 hospital admissions, and 390 appointments since 2004 at one location for care. However, I am more alive than ever by the Holy Spirit; who is my strength in my weakness and limitations.
James 1:2-3New Living Translation (NLT)
Faith and Endurance
2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
As a result of my endurance, I finally found an answer on my Mayo clinic profile to all the horrible reactions to medications that I have experienced. They were able to do some genetic blood tests, which did indicate an explanation of my medication issues. It is actually very technical, however, I have proof now!
Service Date/Time: 29-Mar-2016 19:31
Provider: Daniel E. Maddox, MD Pager: 4-7398
Pharmacogenomic analysis of the patient’s drug metabolizing enzymes demonstrated several potentially clinically significant abnormalities. First, the patient is an intermediate metabolizer for catechol-O-methyltransferase, and this means that she is at some risk for toxic side effects if multiple doses of adrenaline are given in the course of a resuscitation event. The patient is a potentially
altered rapid metabolizer of CYP1A2, and this potential can be
stimulated by exposure to certain environmental substances as listed in the complete laboratory report. The patient is a potential altered rapid metabolizer of CYP2C19, which means that pro drugs may get converted to active variants at an accelerated pace and lead to toxicities and compounds which are active in their native form may require larger than expected doses in order to achieve clinically useful blood levels. The patient is an intermediate
metabolizer for CYP2C9, which means that she is at
increased risk of toxic side effects and accumulation of
abnormally elevated blood levels with standard doses of the drugs handled by this center. The patient is normal for
CYP2D6-related drugs and normal for CYP3A4-related
So clearly even in illness; there is nothing common about me and I’m satisfied with that. The last 2 decades have been such a growing process that keeps me connected and seeking the Light and Truth of Jesus and His Supernatural and phenomenal ways. I never wanted to be identified by my illness, however, I think I could be famous for being ill? So I guess I am coming out of the medical closet. God can make illness into an art form. My body is loud and I believe my God can silence it; if not in this life, then for eternity. God continues to divinely lead me to bits and pieces of Heaven.